Learning A Lot Today…

By Belle | Filed in Always Learning, Contentment

As I’ve grown up, I’ve primarily been a pretty darn egocentric person. And this was before I had even heard of the concept of the ego, however people choose to define it.

Anyway, I started off today being pretty egocentric, as usual. I finally got to the point of kind of languishing in nonsense. Just in terms of my “goals” not matching up with the reality of daily life. So, the worst of my ego sense of things wanted to go one route, but I had a feeling it was destined to be silly and unreasonable if I kept that perspective.

At one point today I sat down and I was journaling. I was writing a long disclaimer that I wanted to add to the front of my story that I’ve been working on the past few years. I had a realization at the conclusion of the journaling. I realized I don’t need to care about other people’s opinions. In fact, I’ve been mostly projecting ideas my own ego has about life and making it seem like what I would imagine other people could think in a judgmental way.

Part of the realization was that, there is no sense in having a competitive perspective on life. I can be my own best unique person. But I can never be “the best” in a competitive way that puts me in contrast to others. Stepping out of the competitive mind frame was extremely refreshing.

Being egocentric to me has meant wanting to be the center of attention in different ways, and I had been thinking that the best way to be the center of attention would be to “be the best.” Like, somehow elbow my way to the “top” in some kind of social way, and then I planned on being incredibly happy.

Obviously, this egocentric “logic” is very flawed. As soon as I was finally able to step out of the competitive mind frame, I felt a huge sigh of relief. Now I could actually be happy, from a heart and soul way instead. This type of happiness and contentment happens now, in the present. There’s no waiting around for some other type of imagined reward.

I’ve been cultivating the past few years a healthy and enjoyable sense of solitude. At its best, my solitude times are heart-warming. But often, my egocentric side would cause me to be pretty darn unhappy for no real reason.

For one thing, I noticed earlier this week that I’ve been living in my head and thinking about the past too much. If I’m flowing with the present moment, my life is good and I can feel contentment and happiness.

After my realization that included being my unique self in a comfortable and non-competitive way, I have already found myself with a lot more time and enthusiasm for my creative projects. Before, my creative projects were kind of being used by my egocentric perspective as a means to an end. Like, maybe I can do something “impressive” and in that way win the center of attention and in that way find happiness. But of course, there’s a kind of weird stench of ick! that comes with trying to impress others. It just doesn’t work, and it’s just plain not worth it.

So, I want to write these weird stories and self-publish them. I want to record my songs and self publish albums of my own music. But it’s a very simple and wholesome contentment. I will enjoy the daily writing process, and the daily music recording process. I won’t be waiting for some pay off instead. I won’t be attempting to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror of social acceptance. And hopefully, I’ll be able to listen and support others in an even better way because I won’t be as self-centered.

After so much to learn today in a natural way, I feel like one of the best things about life is our personal ability to determine our own perspectives and attitudes. Even if it took a while, eventually I figured out that it was painful to remain so egocentric, and that it feels much better to have a balanced sense of healthy contentment. It’s almost a subtle attitude shift, but it makes a big difference.

I hope I remember what I have learned today. And if I forget, I hope I find out again.

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Experiencing Life in New Ways…

By Belle | Filed in Always Learning

I was just reading a passage from a book by Sally Kempton called “Meditation for the Love of It.” It is a wonderful and insightful book. I especially like the tone of the writing, which is quite peaceful and has a sense of gracefulness or something calm and delightful to it.

I’m finally breaking open new territory in the way that I live my life. And by this, I mean my literal experience of living, of being alive from moment to moment.

I was kind of brought up to be hyper focused on outside validation, or some type of external goal being more important than other things.

I’ve been switching that recently because I’m not focused on living my life toward very tangible goals, at least not anything tangible enough to be recognized by others.

So, naturally this has been quite a switch for me. To go from getting plenty of social acknowledgment, to an alternative that is about my actual worth and my actual felt experience in the moment.

A lot of my experience in the moment that I am attempting to cultivate is about a hearty sense of well-being. I find that superficial things, such as a focus only on social acknowledgment, tend to crumble. This is an awful feeling. If my entire focus is on the superficial, thin surface of life, and then that crumbles so easily, I feel like the world is falling apart if that has been my only focus.

In a totally different way of living, I am capable of having groundedness and a sense of being “at home” where I am, with a strong center of balance that rests on my inner state of being.

Of course, reading Sally Kempton’s wise words is very encouraging. I do feel like I will try to follow the nudges from Shakti energy that Kempton writes about so fondly.

My focus in life these days is to cultivate a rich inner life, based around meditation and other related practices, such as shamanic journeys too most likely. I also want to keep developing my arts and craftiness through a few crafty projects that I have planned.

When I focus on inner states of being, life can take on rich qualities that I hardly even knew existed before. I still have moments when I crumble with the superficial focus, especially when I visit my hometown. It’s a awful feeling of tense expectations that I can never live up to.

The good part is that, more and more, I can live in different ways that enhance and encourage these meditative states.

Thanks for reading! Wishing you well on your own path.

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To my mind, one of the most important things to remember in life is to always think for yourself. As you are getting used to thinking for yourself, it may help to question some of the traditions and stories that you have inherited.

I feel a sense of freedom when my imagination is expansive and happily dancing throughout its full range of movement. Typically I use the energy of good music to elevate my mood and allow my imagination to be more expansive. I’m still learning about these qualities, but they are already making my life better. I feel a sense of hearty well-being and thriving contentment.

Sometimes, we kind of inherit depressing stories from the past. This may lead us to think that human history is bleak, or at least that is often the impression given since human history is filled with accounts of many wars and many instances of injustice.

The problem with historical stories that only focus on atrocities is that our imagination may then feel drained and bleak as well.

In our current era, I see new, positive vistas of imagination as being very important. Our current era may be a time of much healing, if you feel like interpreting it that way. There is so much misery in the history books. And I do not doubt that those bleak times occurred. But my point is that, for healing and moving forward in a positive direction, it is probably very helpful to unleash a very positive sense of the human imagination.

For me, I like to use certain ideas to spark my imagination. For instance, I may use an inspiring science-fiction or fantasy story to spark my own flights of imagination. I may interpret life, in my imagination, as a type of dream that remains malleable.

The literal, realistic path of life is important in a practical sense. We need to know how to navigate through our lives well, in a safe and conscientious way. But at the same time, we do not need to dull our sense of imaginative possibilities. The sky is not even the limit. The only limit is what we can imagine. And even if our literal sense of life remains, I think a positive, expansive sense of your own personal imagination is important. As we visualize and imagine, our spirit is lifted and our emotions may sparkle brighter.

I’m basically advocating a personal, imaginative sense of mysticism. I think we can all weave a sense of the mystical through our real lives, if we want to. We can create a beautiful, magical world. The way that we envision the world and life through our minds and imaginations is a key element to the energy of life in general. If we can lift our spirits in this present moment, that will gradually begin to transform our sense of being in the world.

I am partnering my sense of imagination with a more vivid sense of what dreaming can be. For instance, I am enjoying reading the book Dreamgates by Robert Moss. I keep mentioning this book recently because it is important to my sense of how I vision my life and what my world of dreams can be as well.

If you want life to be sparkling and magical, it can indeed be sparkling and magical. But you must walk the path of the imagination as you gradually find yourself in more mystical surroundings.

We can be practical, realistic, and safe. These qualities of a good life remain. However, if we want to inhabit a more magical and dream-like life, we can find a balance of positive imagination.

In addition to setting aside some quiet time throughout the week for meditation and rest, consider adding some quiet time for a positive sense of imagination. You may feel your heart and your spirit soar. You may feel your mood lifting to quiet happiness and contentment.

Many of the traditions we have inherited are strict and confining. We need to find the balance of imagination and practicality that works best for us as unique individuals.

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Think for yourself! My Tarot cards interpretations are for inspiration only. : )

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Tarot Reading…

By Belle | Filed in Oracle & Tarot

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I’ve also included some random ideas about the spiritual path.

I speak in this video at a slow, meditative pace. Pretty cool for positive energy’s sake I think.

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Dance it out…

By Belle | Filed in Dance

Recently I’ve been way too focused on misery. I’ve been organizing the collection of my worst memories far too often.

Finally it has gotten to the point that I am ready to release all of my sorrow and misery.

There are many great websites that offer ideas for ways to release negativity.

I discovered the best way for me sometimes is to move my body. Ecstatic dance is a wonderful way to shift energy from misery to allowing an open space for more joy.

Today I listened to Passion Pit’s album Gossamer, and that album has great tunes for creative, ecstatic dance.

Another element that helped me realize how much greater joy could be created in my life is the positive spiritual people on YouTube. There are many bright, open-hearted people who share positive energy through their YouTube videos. As I listened to their positive words and tuned in to their energy, I realized how much better off I would be if I allow myself that joyful energy too.

Not everyone believes in Angels. But from what I can tell so far, Angelic energy is very blissful and joyful. To help my own sense of joy and bliss, I also plan on trying to tune in to Angelic energy each day. I think it will help me keep a bright spirit.

Wishing you lots of self-created opportunities for joy and bliss. I hope your path of healing and releasing sorrow goes well too.

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I think we are “meant” to mirror and embody for each other positive messages. Love and compassion, peacefulness, nurturing.

But often that is not what happens. I remember getting lots of crap messages from many different people as I was growing up. At that age we tend to internalize the messages we receive through the way people treat us.

Today, I am thinking about how much I want to live a joy-filled life. I want to nurture myself with positive thoughts and an aura of love, compassion, and warmth of spirit.

It isn’t always easy. I live in the DC area. With all of the traffic and cramped space, many people just treat you like an obstacle that is in the way. I dream of a delightful place where people mirror nurturing, peace, and compassion to each other, even a general sense of it to people they don’t know well.

I know there are a lot of joyful, compassionate people out there too. So, I’m going to focus on being blissed out and nurturing, and think of the other people who are kind and thoughtful as well.

I have some bad habits. The bad habits are being irritated or angry as a reaction to certain situations. In the past, I observed a lot of negative reactions to situations that actually aren’t that bad if handled in a peaceful way. So, it will take a bit of time to face each negative reaction as it comes up and choose a sense of peacefulness instead.

The good side to this is that it’s already working. I know the peaceful, compassionate, nurturing way that I want to live. Even though I’m not perfect, I am still able to hold that ideal and often meet up with it.

I hear a lot about shining your own bright light. Having an aura of peacefulness and letting that radiate outwards. That is so awesome and cool to me. Maybe sometimes “cool” means being cynical and disinterested. But to me, the cool things in life are being peaceful, accepting of everyone, and nurturing.

If you’re reading this and you are struggling to stay optimistic because you feel like you are the only peaceful and compassionate person, I appreciate you. Everyone who shines with positive energy and a warmth of compassion and peacefulness is doing something important and good. It’s not always easy, but there are so many people out there who appreciate you for it.

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As I’m organizing the projects that are important to me, I am facing many of my personal fears. I realize that I usually don’t speak my mind all the way. Instead, I try to match up my opinion with the opinions of others in order to avoid any type of confrontation.

Obviously, this is not the way to live. So I’m happy that these projects, which are so close to my heart, are allowing me to face these fears. It is gradually going to be time to be visible for who I am. I will be unique. It will be in a quiet way, sharing my ideas with a few people here and there. But it is important to feel that sense of being true to my own ideas.

Thanks for reading… : ) Hope you’re enjoying being your own unique self too.


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