dream weaver

could this post title be any cheesier? i think not.
every mom knows that someday, near the end of the pregnancy, sleep eludes you. it packs it's bags and goes on an extended vacation. the first time it happens it seems so offensive. why are you leaving? what did i do? can i apologize and have you back? but then you realize that this was God's way of preparing you for a newborn (but not until after your baby is 2, it takes that long to figure it out). i think it makes it less personal, you and insomnia are friends now, he replaced sleep as your friend. but not a good friend, just one you tolerate. but oh, you would love to sleep for 6 hrs straight on your stomach. oh, oh oh, that's the first thing i want. and sleep comes back to stay, not like ever before. but it comes, someday it comes. i always make sure of that.
because: mommy-sleep=crazies

so sleep is eluding me. and i'm accepting it. c'mon, everyone needs a vacation right? so i just lay there, thinking happy thoughts, distracting myself from the pain and trying to remember my dreams.because if there is any consolation to pregnancy hormones, it's the ability to have crazy person dreams in those few short minutes of sleep that make you laugh. and laugh. and laugh.

for example:

remember when i dreamt i was as big as the guiness twins? last night i dreamt that we had the baby and were heading home. hooray! (i hope we only had to stay at the hospital for 12 hrs. wouldn't that be lovely?) and in comes the nurse with the wheelchair. i look at it, and realize, there is no way i'm going to fit. no way. i consider asking if they have that in a Large size, please. but these come in one size fits all. so what does that mean if i can't fit in it? not good people, this is not good. honestly, that's how the dream ended, me standing there wondering how i was going to squeeze in between those handrests. but i was holding a baby, so i think that washed away most of the anxiety.

almost.