baby phoebe

she is here. she is gorgeous. she has hair! she is addicting. she is happy and healthy. she was borderline bili-lights and kept my mom and me schlepping back and forth to labs and dr's offices for a few days. but we are in the clear (fingers crossed) and ready to just hang out together as a family.

here are all those unimportant details you've been craving...

the labor was so slow. which we couldn't understand as i usually go pretty quickly. but in hindsight, it was good news as i had no pain relief for a good chunk of time. i don't consider myself very wussy, but epidurals are pretty nice and i will take one as long as it is available. so i'm grateful that flaky nurse screwed things up so my body wasn't progressing, because i got one awesome epidural from one awesome anethesiologist and had one awesome delivery.
i am not kidding you. this delivery was so unbelievably easy that i WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN. yes, you read that right. 2 seconds after giving birth I WANTED TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY.
really, seriously, a mind-altering experience. i'm pretty sure my dr. walks on water. OH MY GOSH i still can't believe how easy it was. and the recovery has been a dream.which is nice considering i have 2 other monkeys at home also.

here she is. look at those rolls!

baby phoebe's namesake. taryn elise.

grandma curtis
grandma leavitt

lucy has turned out to be quite the little mommy. love it.

just a little before 30

inspired by some of my friends posts, this one is solely dedicated to my mr. man.
which is fitting because today just happens to be his birthday.
i hope most of you have met or will have the chance to meet ty. he is an amazing guy, all around. some of the reasons that i just can't stand being away from him are:

his smile
his chuckle (he has the best movie chuckle ever-and when he is driving dangerously on dirt roads)
his heart
his humility
his grease monkey hands
his brains
his skills
his totally thick and grows like a weed hair
how he thinks i'm funny, even after all these years.

his nature knowledge- this boy knows his desert
his no-bounds friendliness
his craving for adventure-
three beautiful girls he gave me

but the numero uno, very bestest reason i love him?
he chose me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and i love you



ta da

making her grand entrance
at 7lbs 2oz 19"
on september 24, 2009

phoebe elisewe are all home and all healthy
details coming soon...


dear readers,

i think i just peed my pants.

either that or i'm in labor.



*thanks for all the prayers and well wishes. will update a.s.a.p.


behold the belgian goodness

i have a few products that i will shamelessly endorse for you to try until the day i die. philosophy belgian waffles bubble bath is one of them. let me tell you why...it all started the day after abby crumped in the hospital. all of our friends and family were very supportive. but my two sweet sisters dropped everything going on in their lives and showed up in my hospital room. and stayed. work. church. jobs. kids. they put all that off and came with gifts a plenty. i don't know if they'll ever know how important that was to me. sarah scavenged target for cute and comfy leisure clothes for me to wear at the hospital as i had only packed one outfit. danna, the body and face product guru, came with oodles and oodles of goodies. one of them was this body wash. no big deal right? just a yummy smelling bath product?
au contraire.
the next morning i opened up the bottle and was transported. amidst the steamy, hot, water were mounds of butter, ooey gooey syrup and delicious delicious carb laden waffles. it was like eating breakfast and taking a shower at the same time. it was a beautiful moment where i wasn't thinking about doctors or nurses or ventilators or chest tubes or x-rays or infections. i was just enjoying the moment. heck, i didn't even look at the handicapped railing in the shower. those always irk me.
so i lathered, and lathered, and lathered some more. and seeing as i didn't have any shampoo either, i used it for that also. and ooooh, did i smell good. ty noticed it first. he couldn't stop sniffing my hair those two weeks. even a NICU nurse asked, "you know, you smell so good? what is that?"
and i told her. and i will tell the whole entire world everytime they ask.

i kept using that bottle till i couldn't squeeze any more out of it. and since then, for birthdays and special events, hubby will let me get another bottle of this stuff. other personal favorites are cinnamon buns and creme brulee. are you noticing a trend yet? but belgian waffles is seasonal, and it just came back. you can bet your bottom dollar that i ordered mine right away. it came yesterday, and i as i peeled off the lid it hit me. i love this stuff. and i don't know why i had to have it for this time. but i almost feel like it's my little back up plan. that no matter if things go bad again, and i don't have a healthy baby that i get to take home. I WILL HAVE GORGEOUS, SHINY, WAFFLY HAIR. and my shower time will be a little respite from the world. as every shower should be.

do you have a product you feel this passionate about? i would love to know.


now i just need a baby

because i can't wait to let it lie on this beautiful
dick and jane quilt that jandee jo made for me.

and the backing is the bestest, softest, silkiest, squeeziest fabric i've ever felt. what a friend! and check out her blog here, she is one of the most multi-talented girlies i know. ok, not one, she takes top prize for that award. i feel more talented just being near her. she oozes it.


in the meantime

still working on being patient... but in the meantime we have done a lot of fun stuff, of course with no pictures. argh.
  • we have happily been cleaning out the provo library of all their good books.
  • feeding the many ducks on campus and frolicking in the foliage.
  • hiking rock canyon (with the girls, so we made it, like, 200 feet)
  • backyard play time
  • pizza picnics
  • walks, walks, walks, and oh yeah, more walks.
  • play dates
  • cleaning house
  • walks, walks, walks, and oh yeah, more walks
amazingly, i am seeing all the benefits that my stint on bedrest has done for my family. namely, my children play together. well. what a blessing to me. i can easily scrub down the bathroom and do laundry while they role play with dress ups and polly pockets. somehow, in all that i can pick up, some damsel is always in distress. should i worry? i have also found that i am very content with a quiet life. we are happy just running the home and getting out to do calm things. when we do get in the car, classical 89 is rockin'. which means the girls are swaying quietly in their car seats and my blood pressure lowers. this morning was the best west side story piano medley. beautiful.

ty's hand is less swollen, thank goodness. we were pretty sure it was going to die and fall off. the pain has subsided and he has learned how to be quite resourceful with just one hand. he can still work, phew, but can't scoop his own ice-cream. hmm, i think i might be dooped on that one.

the baby
is still here. as in, in me. this is such a blessing to our family, and yet, such a surprise at the same time. apparently this happens to a lot of bed rest ladies. it looks as though the hormone therapy we took to keep the baby in is still working (a little too well in my opinion). so we are waiting for the baby, but apparently after my visit today, some things are warranting an induction on monday if i haven't gone by then. so, here i am, ms. iwillneverbeinducedinmylife at the mercy of her messed up body. but, if it is medically necessary for baby, than it is what it is.
but please, dear little body, go into labor on your own. i would really appreciate that. thanks.

*i find myself worrying about the craziest things now. i worry about my blood pressure. about the baby's heart rate, i worry about if it's moving enough, i worry if i gave it brain damage from the crap that i ate. i worry about autism. i worry about down syndrome. i worry about webbed feet and crossed eyes and loss of hearing and learning disabilities. i worry a lot.

but i opened my scriptures this morning and this is what i read:
"And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;"
Luke 18:1




is a virtue

i told you so

lucy loves to play on her top bunk
which means that abby loves to play on the top bunk
which means that i tell abby to be careful and stay near the wall so you don't fall

this was right before she fell

for the second time


at the edge

we attended the entire 2 hours of our stake conference today...on hard-wood benches. we survived, but i didn't hear one single thing. seriously, honestly, really, (i need another synonym) sound does not travel in the provo tabernacle. so, i people watched for 2 hours and managed the girls. i did have to break out the big guns and feed abby candy the last 5 minutes to prevent a meltdown. mmm...junior mints.

and as we rushed out people asked: how we are doing? and when is this baby coming?
we answered: we are good. and we don't know.
aside from ty's disability right now, we really are enjoying our little student life and quiet home and sleep filled nights. and i'm enjoying my two girls by squeezing and hugging and playing and talking to them as much as humanly possible.

but, and this is a big but,
i feel as though i'm standing at the edge of a great precipice and wondering:
will i be able to cross it and be this gloriously happy with three children,
or am i going to fall in?
and if i do fall, what's down there?



on tuesday morning eight years ago i realized what really matters in my life:

my beliefs


oh, the irony!

i need to accept the fact that my life is one large irony, and in more ways than i ever could have imagined. maybe someday i'll take the time to expand on the subject.

for now, a simple list will do:

*ty broke his hand at the baseball game.
yes, broke.
i even said to hime that night,
man, things are going so well right now.

*i have not had one strong contraction for a week now.
yes, a week.

and i feel fantastic. hence the "things are going so well". i am walking in the mornings and afternoons. and cooking and cleaning and running errands and playing with the girls. and nothing. i know it's a good thing as i still have 3 more weeks, but it is quite humorous.
can you hear me laughing?



the time finally came, i thought i would cry, but thankfully abby was crying and fussing enough about staying to "pway with sussy and pet the bunny!" that i was distracted. phew. dodged that bullet.

but i feel weird.
i had to wait in a preschool pick up line.
with all the minivans.
and babies.
and kids.
and minivans.
and babies.
and kids.
man, do us mormons know how to procreate or what?

daddy walked her home and let her pick out some candy on the way.
ps- today is beatles day on the radio here. totally awesome. yes, i said totally awesome.


my feet are fat

my brother graciously pointed out to me last night that my last post sounded a little desperate. what? me, desperate? really, i just thought it would be fun to have a baby on labor day. pun intended. i did not mean to come across as moping around the house complaining that i haven't had the baby yet. i really don't want to be that woman. i do complain a lot, but i realize some of you readers may not know that i am almost always being sarcastic. but, for my sanity's sake, and the sake of this rambling, i will post some things that i will, and will not miss after the baby is born. whenever that may be. i think all of you who said i'm going to go to 42 weeks and have to be induced might just have been on to something. how does it feel to be right?

things i won't miss:
my fat swollen feet by the end of the day
having to build up momentum to roll out of bed
bumping my children in the head while trying to walk around them
180 daily potty trips
greasy hormonal hair
having food stuck to my shirt that i cannot see
unintentional public flatulence
doctors' offices
and people asking any day now?
labor and delivery

things i will miss:
having lots of time for just me and the girls
alone time at night with ty
traveling without having to stop
eating whatever i please
feeling the baby move
elastic waistbands



seen and heard

time: 10:20 am

mom, i'm hungry still.

ok, it is snack time, what do you want?

mom! i want breakfast!

wait, what did you eat for breakfast?


what? ty did you feed them breakfast?

no, i thought you fed them.
chuckle chuckle

i didn't. i thought you did. hahaha.

so you guys haven't had breakfast yet?


alright, abby, everybody, up to the table for cereal.


a question

how many tums can i eat before it's unsafe?
how long can a body contract and cramp and push without going into labor?
when is this family of 4 going to use some math and add another?
will ty be forever surrounded in tulle or we will get a lil' guy?

* ps * even though i am quite large right now-we still have 4 weeks until baby is due. and the longer it's in the better-no matter how uncomfortable i may feel. and no we are not dissapointed and feel like we wasted all that time on bedrest. nothing is worth having a preemie, absolutely nothing.



a tear in my eye

ty's mom is in town for the week and accompanied us to lucy's "meet and greet day" at preschool. abby was equally excited to come with and see lucy's cool. the only thing i was worried about was signing up in time on the babysitting list for the classroom pets. lucy was very adamant about getting in on that action. so (i think i say so much too much) we head up to the classroom, open the door. and...i totally start to tear up.
a real classroom.
a cubby with lucy's name on it.
little miniature sinks and toilets and charts and, and, and...
bahhhhh! my baby is growing up! she is almost 5.
how old does that make me?

never mind the last question. i just couldn't believe my weepy insides. blame it on the raging hormones.
but we did get a delicious lunch out of it (thanks camille) with aunt tar bear at the museum of art. the cream of asparagus soup helped buoy me up for the rest of the day.

what is up with her posing lately?

i don't know i'm going to break the news to abby that she can't go play on this everyday.

lucy, abby and neighbor lizzy who is also in her class.

auntie t. the frosh. i'll try not to abuse her too much for babysitting this year.


fat tuesday

yesterday ty had another baseball game and the girls jumped at the opportunity
to get out of the house and display me in public

i can say i am feeling quite skeptical right now of being around other human beings.
especially when people can see my cankles and my fat nose.
only a pregnant woman can get a fat nose like this.

but the sunset was glorious.
and the girls were perfect. yes, perfect i tell you.
and watching ty play always makes me feel like i'm 17 again. ah, bliss.


my current baby

i find myself watching abigail more and more closely every day.

i'm trying to remember and memorize how she is right now, as my baby.
her voice, her funny facial expressions, how she skips and bounces through life.
i love that she likes to kill ants.
i love that she can out eat any of us at a restaurant.
i love that she has private places to go poop.
i love her buddha belly and chest tube scars.
i love her frizzy hair that reminds me of mine.
i love how kind she can be.
i love that it takes her an hour to walk around the block.
i love her schizophrenic mood swings.
i love her made up songs.
i love that sometimes i still can't understand entire paragraphs of her speech.

i love my baby.
but soon she will be a middle child. and stay a middle child for forever, and ever, and ever.
i feel kind of guilty about that, but what can you do?

we love you abby.
especially when you go outside to cry it out on the steps.

so sad
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