and the point of all this is?

recently i've been thinking a lot about this little old blog (can i say I HATE THE WORD BLOG? yes, i do. worst word ever. well, that and seepage.)  of mine. yes, it is mine. i write it, take care of it and think about it in the middle of the night. when funny things happen with the girls or ty stares of into space and says "bo jackson was so awesome" i get tingly fingers that are just itching to write it down. and i write for me. and for my kids. and for our families and friends. and i write on it especially because i avoid my journal like the plague.

bust most importantly, i try to BE ME. sometimes i am succesful at that, sometimes i am not. i  try to keep a healthy balance over this thing and can't wait to make it into a book. (any suggestions as to how or where i do this? i'm clueless)

but then, i think about the blogosphere, that which is 800 million somethinng (i'm just guessing) other blogs out there in space. i have my friends on my google reader with several other completely anonymous strangers who i love to read (ps-if you'd like me to read your blog leave a comment-so i KNOW WHO YOU ARE and can you to my reader list).  and i'm happy with what i have. i really don't care about any other ones, and i'm not searching. i don't 'blog surf' anymore as it seemed completely pointless and a waste of my time. plus, the more i read the more i am influenced to the dark side about making this blog pretty and entertaining, instead of it just being me.

have i changed my posts over the years? yes.  has it been for the better good? i don't know. i do know that i am a little more careful on what i post and what nots seeing as i put this nifty little counter in around the middle of september and there has been 20,000+ hits since then. 20,000 is a lot. and i know many are family members far away, but for the other thousands i am wondering. who are you? why are you here? do you read it for entertainment? do you read it to make fun of me (bill)?

i hope it is the reason that i read other people's blogs, to laugh, to cry, to feel a little more normal, to get inspired, to get away from your own life for a few minutes.  i really hope those are the reasons.

and so, in honor of this post, if i don't comment on your blog or send you an email semi-regularly (some of you have commented that i lost. woops) please leave a comment and/or become a follower so that i know who you are. and maybe it will make this blog writer feel a little more at peace. in doing this i think i can sleep at night knowing that nice, lovely,  people are looking at this thing and not scary larrys with chester the molester vans (woops, is that profiling?).

thank you. and be BRAVE. i know i'm always nervous to comment on other people's b l o g s too. you can do it!

post script: i once had the counter/reader that told me where people were from and when they looked at my blog. too creepy, and made me much too self conscious. so i took it off. my counter just counts hits only, so rest in peace.