i hate that i don't want to post this

*my mom is the one with her eyes closed. and my aunt brenda's glasses are to die for*

i love the old photos we have of our families. i love that they are black and white. i especially love the ones from the 1950-1960s. i love the fashion. i love how meticulate everyone was with their hair, clothes, shoes, cars, houses.

and after sitting back and admiring, i ask myself. how did my grandma do it? 6 kids, clean house, homemade everything, sewed all the clothes, mended all the clothes, scrubbed out all the stains, washed all the dishes, served countless other families, donated to charities, church callings, etc. etc. etc. and to top it off she was married at 32, had her last baby at around 43, a convert to our church, a full time nurse when she met my grandpa, awesome tennis player and an extremely intelligent woman (now you know why i named lucy after her).

the only answer i can think of, is she was a hard worker. it didn't matter if she didn't WANT to do the dishes, or clean the laundry, or scrub the floors or trim the fat off the roast, or dice the vegetables, or mend the same seam for the hundredth time. you just did it. because you couldn't just run to costco to buy another package of socks because you have none that match (guilty), or buy premade, frozen dinners at the grocery store (guilty), or order your clothes on old navy when there is a huge clearance sale (guilty).  you did all the work and you didn't complain. i remember one time visiting when she was 95, yes 95, and she was out in the arizona sweltering heat sweeping the porch. "grandma!" i said. "come in here, it's too hot outside." she looked straight at me and asked, "well, are you going to do it?"  and sheepishly, i said yes, and grabbed the broom from her before she fainted from heat stroke.

 but now, well. we can say we don't want to something, and not do it; and no one bats an eye. we can get away with not learning how to cook a roast, or mend socks, or clean your own house or any of those things because we can pay someone else can do it for us. and let's face it, who does those things today anyway? and we can tell ourselves we are just too tired to put stuff away or fold things in the dryer, or wash the dishes tomorrow. because that is the normal.  it is easy and normal now to be selfish, self-absorbed and lazy, and put all the blame on something, or someone else.

but today, i'm going to suck it up and just do it. do it because it needs to be done and there is no one else who's going to volunteer for the job. this is what i do, and gosh darn it, i'm going to do it well.  i am going  to take more joy in the doing, and the making, and the mending, and the sitting down and really play with my kids. really enjoy them and teach them. and i'd like how to learn how do do more and do it more efficiently. obviously i know that this is near impossible with a newborn in the house. but tonight, instead of watching mindless tv, i'll pick up the one of 100 books i have on my shelf that are waiting to be read.

and i know it's not going to happen in one instant, but i will try to take better care of myself, the girls, and ty and the house. and i believe that is a sacred thing, to take care of your home and your kids. thank goodness i think that, because that is what i do. and i would like to be more proud of it.

oh, and i'd like to wear circle skirts every day too. i am so in love with them right now.

and i am upset that i didn't want to post this, as i would worry what people would think. but hello, i write this for moi and my kids and husband.  and aren't we all entitled to our opinions?


Melanie said...

Bravo! Bravo! :)

I was just sitting down after a busy morning of "getting stuff done." Better get myself back up! :)

Whitney Baldwin said...

Well said Annie. Thanks for this.

I am off to do some laundry that I would have put off for tomorrow. Or probably the next day.

jes said...

here. here.

it is sacred. "To help another human being reach one’s celestial potential is part of the divine mission of woman. As mother, teacher, or nurturing saint, she molds living clay to the shape of her hopes. In partnership with God, her divine mission is to help spirits live and souls be lifted. This is the measure of her creation. It is ennobling, edifying, and exalting."

that was long. but i wish people said it more. cleaning up 800 times a day is hard, but there is purpose and grace in it.

Terril Family said...

Okay, you seriously could not have chosen a better day to post this. I have procrastinated my cleaning all morning, because I had some craft projects I wanted to work on. And then I even contemplated going to Logandale for the rest of the day and cleaning tomorrow. But no more! You have inspired me. Off I go to clean my house. THANK YOU!

Jed Wheeler Family said...

I needed to hear this today. Thank you. It was perfect and I'm glad you posted it, even if you thought you shouldn't. (Why did you think that?)

suepeterson710 said...

Hi Annie, I read your blog from time to time to see how you and your cute girls are doing. You always make me chuckle and I enjoy your thoughts on life, love and everything.
Loved the comments on your grandma.
Then I read the one about the memory tapes and the 'kitchen table blowing up'. LOL.
Keep up the good work.

Tam said...

well said. every time i mop the floor (which isn't nearly oftenenough) i think of my 95 yr old grandma who still mops hers on her hands and knees, has never owned a dishwasher, and only in recent years gotten a microwave; sounds much like yours. blessed ladies.

Lauren said...

I have been feeling the same way.. after we got told at Stake Conference that our stake was complacent and worldly.. I've felt terrible guilty. I don't want to be that way... one day at a time-- I WILL be better! Thanks Annie :)

Anne said...

I'm not even sure how I stumbled across your blog- but I loved reading this post. It's something I needed to read. Thanks!

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