monday is another day

i really couldn't think of  a better title for this post. but, it is a little fitting, because today IS monday. so much has been happening in my small little life that i lead that it's amazing how large and demanding everything seems. until i start to write about it. and then, well...not so much.

i started to read this book. which i'm finding quite delightful- but sleep inducing. i can't seem to get past 15 pages without conking out. maybe when the romantic suspense starts i can stay awake?

i read a few posts that made me smile today. which is always nice. they are also bloggers that are related to me, so doubly nice:

my cousin's wife has-a new swaddling technique and a funny cake

my other cousin's wife writes well. and just about how i feel about life these days too.

my cousin steph survived 30 hours of flying with 3 kids! they need to make a medal for that.

other thoughts that have been rolling around in my head:

how grateful i am that i didn't have a blog when i was a new mom. yikes!

how much i enjoy having abigail around the house. this morning she was more than fun with her little dances and songs that she makes up as she plays and plays. this afternoon we were sitting at lunch discussing all the little creatures and plants we could see through our gorgeously huge window. i sighed, "i love this window." and she replied, "well, i love fashion windows!".  i asked, "what are fashion windows?"  her reply? "the ones that you can see your refection!"  that girl i tell you.

how much phoebe has turned into a spoiled little stinker.  i don't think i would worry too much about this fact, except that the baby is coming in 12 weeks and counting. seeing as i've never made it past 39 weeks-and that is in 12 weeks. i just had to do the math i guess. in the first place, i feel guilty for robbing her of all her glory at such a young age. and then i think, i've got to get this girl tough before the next one comes along. but i give in, and hold her and give her the candy and anything else she asks for.

how little i know about how to parent my sweet lucy. i feel inadequate in every way, shape and form to be her mother and meet her needs. i almost feel like i'm always running to catch a speeding car-and never quite make it there in time. she is the complete opposite of me in so many ways, which drives me crazy. and then she's completely me in some ways, which drives me crazy.  why is parenting your oldest always the hardest? (i know mom, my grammar is awful)

what a good dad ty is for the girls. i wish i could encapsulate in words what i feel when i see him with his children. he is so good. he is so kind. he is so patient.  and lately with my emotions, this has been a perfect yin to my yang. or vice versa. i don't know which is yin and which is yang. oh well. 

i worry about the world. about the economy. about ty losing his job. about losing our house. about home gardening and canning and food storage and back up reserves of money. i worry about being frugal and wise. i worry i will never change. i worry about my friends and their problems. i worry that even though i think about them, i'm still completely self absorbed. i worry my kids will pick up my bad habits. i worry the baby will die. i worry the baby will be special needs. i worry about being too hot this summer when the baby comes. i worry about everything.

i've found that i absolutely need 9-10 hours of sleep at night to feel be able to get through the next day. if i do, my tummy is happy, i am happy and i can manage to take care of everyone and everything (well, attempt to) without any bumps in the road. which is the main reason i stopped teaching my aerobics class at night, i'm hoping to keep my saturday class now that things have calmed down a bit. read: no contractions.

oh my, what a long post of nonsense.

ps- we totally survived no tv week! yes, the first days were awful- but we smoothly sailed through the rest.  today abby said, "no tv!" in a sing song voice and walked into her room. i don't have the heart to tell her it's over and she can watch sesame street again : )