back to school jitters

 lucy was so excited to go back to school. poor girl was bored to tears with her lazy mother.
we had a major breakthrough with shopping this year. we didn't have to do any! well, i promised her a new lunchbox. and she looked at all the tacky, sparkly, ostentatious ones very longingly. i picked up a nice one and said, "ooh, this one is really nice" (my vocabulary rocks) and put it down. because as lucy's mom, anything i say is "nice" she will automatically despise. not this time. she picked it!
i was so proud. take that justin beiber.
 i let abby pick out a lunchbox too, since i thought making all the lunches the night before would take a little work out of the next day. i let her have free range with the choices because, well, she's been having major middle child syndrome. when she saw this one, her eyes lit up and i could see the wheels turning in her head, "kittens! sparkles! pink!" it was destiny. ty called that night and i said, "you are not going to believe abby's lunch box. it is so dolores umbridge". 
 my mom says don't ever let your kids run around scraggly.
i am severely lacking in this department with phoebe.
 phoebe bawled when lucy got on the bus. abby kicked some rocks on the walk home in sadness. the two girls spent the next 2 hours fighting over who was alpha now that lucy was gone. i sat and nursed a fussy baby the rest of the day. it's been hard getting back on a strict schedule after an entire summer of "sleeping when the baby sleeps". which really means, "i'm in pajamas until 10 am." but routines are good. routines are needed. routines get us out of our pajamas.

and that's pretty hard to do these days.


i love my kids. i love my kids. i love my kids?

the other day i had to move 4 carseats around (four!) in 116* heat in the car. tyson's grandma offered to help, and i said "no, i've got it." and while i heaved hoed another one in and fussed with the latches i thought, "someday i will never have any car seats to move around or put kids into!!!!!!" hooray!

and as awesome as that thought is (because car seats are probably one of the biggest contraceptive reinforcers), i know that i will feel sad knowing that my babies are grown.

 while holding and rocking a fussy baby in church today i thought about my other children. this weekend to california was such a blessing in so many ways for me. it was refreshing to get out of the house and laundry and dishes and "to-do's" and just spend time with my kids. i took showers and baths with them after swimming and they loved it (in my swimsuit of course).  i sat in the back seat of the car with them playing games and oohing and ahhhing over the scenery. we played on the beach together and swam together. we walked together. we talked together. and i fell in love with my kids all over again.

my kids crawl all over me day and night. they LOVE for me to play with them, listen to them, hug them. we could read books all day long snuggled up on the couch. or lie together and watch movies and eat popcorn. they want so much of me. and that's the dilemma as a young mom, you wake up knowing these little beings need 100% of you all day long. and it's completely draining.

how would you feel if your co-workers could not acocmplish 90% of their taks without your help and/or approval? add in the fact that each one has to tap or touch you 800 times a day and one of them just learned knock knock jokes and you can see how it gets a little annoying. what? children annoying? (this is starting to sound like a confessional). but near the end of the day you find yourself avoiding them by going to the "bathroom" when you're actually just reading the latest Real Simple.  your skin crawls when they latch onto you yelling "mom!mom!mom! look at this bug!"  just after you wiped up puke and poop in the last 5 minutes.  yes, somedays you just can't even stand them all needing needing needing you (i think this is more true when you have a cute newborn to hold) little kids are just so needy. but the trade off is, they love you heart and soul. they WANT you. you. you. you.

and someday soon they won't want me. they won't say funny words and perform 30 minute dance shows for me. they won't sing while they go potty (hopefully) and ask me to pretty please braid their hair like their cousin's. they won't want me to play dollies with them or help them make their beds. they won't like the music i listen to in the car or want to go on walks to count how many bunnies we can see. they won't want to go to the "resemoir" with us or hold my hand in public. my life as a parent will be challenging in a different way. i will want to be involved in everything in their lives, every day. and it will drive them bonkers.

maybe it's because school starts tomorrow and i had to pack lucy's lunch.
or maybe it's because my baby boy won't stop growing.
or maybe it's because phoebe is learning new words by the minute.
or maybe it's because abby is itching to start school someday.

but i love my little, little children that need me so very much.
and even though i'm not even close to being the perfect mom,
i know that these days are fleeting
and i'm going to try and cherish them even more.


greetings from sunny california

on tuesday we decided to leave hot hot hot nevada and go see my sister danna in california
when i say me, i mean me, my four children (FOUR) and my gracious mother.
all day wednesday i tried to pack and clean. and all day wednesday i thought, "why am i doing this? this is so stupid!" actually, the same things i said during natural childbirth.   it just was so hard to pack and pack and pack, for only 3 nights and 3 days.

when we reached primm, nevada i was ready to turn around. "this is just not worth it" i told my mom. but we kept going. luckily, 2 hours into the drive, all the children were asleep and we cruised all the way to highland. we pulled in at 11pm and conked out.

let me just say this, it has been so wonderful. wonderful to get out of the house. wonderful to watch the girls light up at the sight of the beach. the stores! the palm trees everywhere!  while driving around lucy said, "where we live is ugly!"  which reminds me to teach her there is a difference between "ugly" and "different".

we have another day full of swimming and sun.

and yesterday, it was 75* at the beach. SEVENTY FIVE DEGREES!

the girls stepped out of the car and said, "oooh! it's cold!"

that was worth the entire trip


one week

we have exactly seven days till the school year begins. and if it's anything like last year, it will be over before i can blink.

i feel like my life launched into warp speed with this baby. next monday is the first day of school, then we have full on birthdays and holidays till January. after a few months of recovering from that, and usually battling illnesses for a few weeks, it's the end of the school year and the baby will be one. one!

we have lived in our house a year and two months now. and that just flew by without me even knowing it. for all the we have accomplished, we have a long list of more projects. we are learning to love the process though, and are very grateful for our home.

for now, i love walking into our living room and seeing my curtains that i made, my fun throw pillows that i don't ever want you to look too closely at, and my rooster from aunt nancy. the picture on the wall is a magnolia, one of my favorite trees, the vase is from a dear friend, and tyson purchased the bloch painting for our anniversary.  i love this little corner of my house, and not just because it's always clean because the kids don't play in here. ha!

ty and i laugh because besides the table he made me, we have been given every piece of furniture either by kindness, luck, charity, or from a dumpster. for reals, i literally pulled that lamp out of a trash can. so here's for frugal living! hip hip hoorah! hip hip hoorah! hip hip ican'twaittosomedaybuythatethanallencouchforinhere!


no post title

i read a quick part of a quote at a family party a few weeks ago (did that make any sense?) and the gist of it was, don't talk about the bad things in your life. talk about the good. now i need to get the real quote and put it on here.

so for this weekend i'll share a few things and try to focus on the good (i said try):

-i tried to teach 4 zumba songs in a row yesterday to my little church girls i work with. they've been begging me for months to do it and i was excited to try since i'ved planned to start teaching in 2 weeks. yikes!  so, yeah, 4 songs. long story short, i almost died.  i was sweating so much my skin almost just slipped off of my body.  it felt so weird too, when i was trying to dance. i felt like a jigsaw puzzle that was put together by abby. all the pieces are put back where they started, but they're too tight in some places and lumpy and overlapping in others.

-swimming lessons ended yesterday. we did not go on any vacations this summer (is it me, or did everyone go to bear lake?). we did not travel to see any family. we didn't go into town to swim or shop. we didn't really do anything. so the girls had swimming lessons the entire summer. i honestly didn't care if they were learning to swim or learning the hokey pokey. they loved their teachers! they were happy! they looked forward to it all day long! they slept like rocks!  and guess what happened? they did learn how to swim and that makes me pretty happy.

-we had one of the 12 apostles of our church come to our church conference this weekend. we thought we arrived a half hour early on sunday, but it was really an entire hour early! i was worried the girls would have meltdowns, but they did great. i told them how proud i was of them for being so quiet. i ignored the fact that they bounced around like energizer bunnies for 3 hours. it was an amazing opportunity to listen to an Apostle in person. afterwards i wanted to talk to his wife and tell her i lived with her nieces in college, but it was just too crowded up there. i'm glad so many people got to meet them in person.

-lucy has her teacher for 1st grade in is ready to go but i don't know if i am. i know that school is what she needs, but it will be all day long! (and this is where the families with all day kindergarten tell me to suck it up).we eat early and go to be early around here, so it feels like her free time is going to be cut big time between homework and chores.

-this baby sucked all of my mojo out of me. i realized yesterday that i am probably the most boring person on the planet. seriously. my life consists of trying to take care of the girls, nurse the chubs all day long, pick up the house (fail) and cook a dinner. after 8pm when everyone is in bed, even rodney, i collapse on the couch. i turn on the boob tube, watch for around an hour and then shuffle into bed. no dishes, no clean up, no talking, no reading.  i literally collapse at the end of every day.  the next morning i wake up to an absolutely disgusting house and start all over again.  i won't even begin to tell you how much tv my kids are still watching.

-on a funnier note, phoebe likes to jump in her crib once she wakes up. she gets some pretty sweet air too. yesterday i opened the door and asked, "and what are you doing little girl!?" and she says in the cutest voice ever, "I'M DUMPING ON DA BED!"


it's like someone slipped super bloom into his milk

i've been in denial the past few weeks. i just couldn't bring myself to put together all the clues of what was happening. i was sure that the onesies were "weird sizes" and that's why his 3-6 month outfits were hard to snap. and i ignored the massive thighs that size 2 diapers just aren't quite covering anymore. or the two legs sprawling over my lap while he nurses. but yesterday at church i looked at his huge feet at the end of the car seat. THE END! i have to computer scream that at you because i just couldn't believe it. i leaned over at ty and said, "look at his feet. they are at the edge of the car seat already!"  this usually took around 4-5 months for the girls.

and then, i could deny it no longer after our appointment this morning. this boy is huge. and i quote my dr "that is one big boy." 13lbs, 5 oz and 24" long. that's 85% for weight and 100% for height! what happened to my dainty little girl babies?  ty thinks it's "so cool" that's he big and burly while i'm weeping in the corner and eating a ding dong in mourning.

there is no more newborn baby here at our house. he's a full grown monkey child.

oh! and you have to see him in person, he has the most gorgeous olive complexion and dark brown hair. what a lucky kid.

*on a different note, he cried more today after his shots than the girls ever did. which just backs up my theory that all men, when injured, are big fat babies : )


8 weeks

 i almost didn't post this photo because of all the negative things i see about myself. but then i pulled my thoughts out of the shallow end of the pool and said, " look at that perfect baby!" it would be a crime to let my pride get in the way of enjoying this photo. this baby is beautiful, and perfect, and calm and amazing. when i hold him i feel like all is well in the world. and i can see him soften everyone that he meets.

i'm falling more and more in love every day.

 i've been working on the exact metaphor to describe his soft and squishy cheeks that i can't stop kissing. right now all i can think of is:

fluffy clouds of marshmallow cream.

yes, they are that delicious.


rodney's got a rockin' gene pool

four generations of Leavitt men
Great Grandpa Ron, Tyson, Rodney, Grandpa Rod

pretty good looking lot of men don't you think?
(i always joked that i wanted to marry tyson because i knew he would still be hot when we were older. shallow? yes. true? double yes.)


shake it shake it

phoebe found her 
reflection in the tv during her one of her dance sessions.
i don't know where she learned some of the moves. 
maybe ty's been teaching her?
check out her air guitar at 23seconds.


a blessing

yesterday was the fourth time i have sat and watched my husband give our child a name and a blessing in our church.  this is the first ordinance of our religion before baptism at 8 years of age.

it is a special day for us. which also means, it is a stressful day.

i really tried to stay relaxed and just enjoy all of our family and friends. but i find myself, like every other woman, wanting everything to be perfect. the kids, the clothes, their hair, family, everything. which just turns me into a mess.

luckily, ty doesn't get phased out and stressed like me, and he calmly blessed our son with obedience and faith. what more could i ask for?

we had a wonderful day full of family, friends, and food. a perfectly mormon sunday.
baby rodney's blessing outfit that ty wore on his blessing day
our new family of 6


7 weeks

abby took the picture of rodney's new place of residence: the crib in the office.

i am more than a little sad that we had to evict him from our bedroom so soon, but the grunts! the wiggling! he's the loudest sleeper we've ever had.

and when daddy has to wake up at 4am to go and operate heavy equipment, well lets just say we're putting safety first.


seen and heard

 "so, how many weeks old is he now?" - ty
"um, 6 weeks now"- me
"annie, he's six weeks old already?"
"um...maybe." and then i ran away and hid in the girls' room.
(only a mom would know why this is funny)

"BABY WOWIE!!!!!" phoebe upon seeing rodney being held by our neighbor

"baby wowie wying!" baby rodney is crying. -phoebe

"nobody loves me!" - abby who is currently suffering from middle child syndrome.

on sunday tyson was trying to dress phoebe in tights, while the older girls bounced around trying to tell him something at the same time and then rodney started to cry. he stood up and exclaimed, "where did all these kids come from?!!!"

last sunday at my parents house i picked up their readers digest to see the breinholts in there! so cool.

"he (rodney) sounds like a squeaker toy"- lucy
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