12.28.2011

sometimes i just don't get my husband

ty and i have almost been married 9 years. that's not very long for some and a long time for others. we've been dating since 1998. i'm too tired right now to count the years for that.
  but i digress. the point was to put down in memory most of our conversations that leave me wondering, "am i the only wife who thinks this?" 

 for example: clothing. ty has probably gone clothing shopping 10 times in his entire life. i buy his clothes. his mom bought his clothes. the end.

for christmas, i pick out some nice stretchy skinny jeans  for yours truly (because let me tell you, nothing and i mean nothing, is more comfortable for me). they are perfect for squatting, and bending, and sitting, and all the other things moms do all day long. so i don't care if i look like a stuffed turkey in them, they work. and he squinches up his nose and says, "no one looks good in those". which means, he wants me to not wear them. at first i was all, "ok, honey buns, i won't wear these if you don't like them." and then it dawned on me, this is coming from the man who wears his holey SHIFT t-shirt from senior year. and greasy jeans with holes and tears all over them. and a boston red sox hat that has probably seven kinds of fungus growing on it. (*i should note that although i buy his clothes, he will not let me buy him clothes, and if i do, he still wears the old stuff)

so basically i said, in a really nice way i promise, "i'll start wearing what you want me to wear, when you start wearing what i want you to wear".  and i know that is not the "love language", kind-hearted, selfless thing to do in a relationship. but stretchy skinny jeans just are soo comfortable gosh darn it.

another debate is home decor. he says our bedding for our master bedroom is too "girly". i say "eat it" because i like it and it's soothing and i'm the one whose home all day looking at it. i ask him opinions and opinions and opinions on where to move/replace/swap/turn furniture. finally last night, after his 15th "mmmhmmm" reply i asked, "should i just tell you where i want things to go and not even ask?" and i swear he had a relieved look on his face when he said, "yes!".

and i don't know if its because he doesn't have an opinion, or he knows that his opinion isn't mine and if we don't do what i want i'm going to complain about it for eternity?  these are deep thoughts i'm having here people.

deep.

i better go to bed before i start divulging too much about us. ha!

6 comments:

The Leavitts said...

We married the same person!!!!!!!!!!!
The skinny jeans conversation just happened in this house about a month ago, like the same exact words.
I wonder if it is Leavitt men, or just men?!

Rach said...

I love to hear about your conversations with Ty, they sound like my conversations with Jeremy. Except, we've been married 5 years and I'm still in the "o, he doesn't like that, so I won't do that" mode, which since baby numero uno, is fading fast. As for the decorating, Jeremy almost NEVER has a say and just tells me if you like it I like it. I think the just don't care enough, not in a bad way, just not how they are built. I'm thankful, because it could be worse, they could be so extreme on the other end of the spectrum and I think I would hate that even more! Love your stories!

Tiffany S said...

Annie, I hate to tell you this girl...but if he squinches up his noes and tells you that nobody looks good in the stretchy skinny jeans, then he means it. Give yourselves a few more years and then you won't care. Jared and I have been together almost 20 years and I really don't care anymore what he wears. If it is really bad you DO have to draw the line. It's an undeniable fact that when your husband puts on a sweater vest for church (no lie) you have to put your foot down and say no! Vehemently! (especially when it was not cool from the beginning and he promised to only wear it golfing) do you really want your husband to shudder when he looks at you I think is the question. I think Ty looks at you with adoring tenderness and you do the same. You just should not have bought him the skinny jeans since he already told you his opinion. Sorry, just shooting strait.

As far as decor...move the furniture the way you like it while he is at work. And put in a few things to masculinize the room a bit and point it out to him when he gets home from work. Have I said too much? Man I miss you!!!!!

Trent & Tara said...

great post. I say do/wear whatever makes your feel the most comfortable. They are so comfy...I have a hard time wearing any other jeans. And NO you do not look like a stuffed turkey in them girl. I don't think they realize how hard it is to feel pretty after babies and find some sort of style again. Trent is different...he is usually encouraging me to branch out a little in clothing. But, still has a huge opinion on what I wear. If I had it my way he would dress a little preppier...lol. I ask Trent about the house and he could care less. It is so bland and I can't take it anymore. I keep saying "we need to get this to add color in here and this, and this"....he thinks I am crazy. Well, you know what??? We have to look at it all day long and if we want to revamp up the house to make us feel happier so be it...I am to the point right now where Trent's opinion on home decor is toast. Ha ha thanks for the post.

Tiffany S said...

Err, ummm...sorry about the earlier comment! I was coming from a place of a week of all my kids and me getting the "I Want To Die" flu and then throwing my back out. And as I thought more about it I think I was kind of bugged that Jared got me Toms for Christmas and I told him not to. We had a talk about this and ironed it all out. I hope you don't think I meant that Ty thinks your jeans are unflattering because that's not what I was trying to say. Probably he just meant it in general as a fashion thing. I kind of thought the same thing when they first came out, but now I think they are more flattering than most jeans for sure. You have always had a great sense of style. And besides, being home with kids all day is a job. I just wear sweats or pj bottoms if I don't go anywhere, so your rockin it!

Jed Wheeler Family said...

Let me just tell you how much Jed looovves my newRED skinny jeans. "Are u really going to wear those?"oh well someday he will appreciate my genius. Besides jeggings are way coooler than sweats or ahem stirrup pants.

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