date nights

we have been batting 100% for 1 date night per week lately (and i know i just jinxed this). since moving here with a new house and mortgage and student loans and all that other financial stuff that is tacky to talk about, date nights just weren't happening. we would stay up late sewing curtains or installing baseboards. you know, real romantic like.

but lately we have had a windfall of gift certificates and coupons so we took advantage and left the house! some of our favorite ones lately have been:

eating here
eating here
eating here (lots of eating)
watching this (i thought is was ridiculously contrived and cheesy, but ty liked it enough)
and going to The Mob Museum.

 if you are in Las Vegas, and want to do something with your time that you will remember, i recommend it.  I loved it, not so much about the mafia stuff, but the design was impeccable. the layout, the vintage photos,  restored woodwork and antique lighting, the lighting the lighting! Oh, I just really like the lighting because the company ty works for did all the electrical.  It was a rare date to walk through and have him point to all the conduit (sp?) and lights and say, "we did that and that and that and that, and oh, look at this cool thing here".   hark! a date where ty talked! *you must peek at the restrooms there, so neat.

thanks to grandma and grandpa we went to the museum, ate out and did a Lowe's trip for essentials. i left rodney for 6 hours! ack! awake! that was kind of hard for me but i know he was happy and well taken care of.

*we ate out for FREE at outback and cheesecake factiory. and had FREE tickets to the museum! made me feel so wealthy.ha!  we ususlly aren't that swanky on date night.  this friday is probably going to be red box and popcorn. now that's more like it.


you can never have too much rodney

who cares if my babies make me crazy, they are so worth it.
*his new trick is clapping!


i have confidence in sunshine

the last two days have been blah. blah. blah.

and i feel upset at myself for even thinking about complaining. because in all honesty, i have an incredible amount of things/people to be grateful for. but i'm still down in the dumps.

i weaned off of my meds 2 months ago (what? i know, i had post partum depression and never blogged about it) and have been doing really well. i haven't felt inclined to talk about the ppd because, well, it's personal. but having babies is really hard on my brain, and i get a wee out of whack. so instead of drowning my husband and children in a kiddie pool, i take a small, teeny, tiny, happy pill every night and everyone can sleep safe. tyson included.

so, no meds. doing well. exercise is what helps me get through it all, exercise, prayer and lots and lots of both.  and then a few stressors popped up, and i just can't shake them off.

yesterday i sat in church and on the board were the words, "what has Jesus Christ done for you personally?". and i just sat there. i could literally hear the crickets in the corner of my mind chirping in the dark. nothing. and i was so embarrassed, sad, disappointed in myself that i couldn't think of anything. because there are MOUNTAINS of infinite goodness he has given me. and i just sat there like an ungrateful slob.

but i went to pilates this morning (even though i did not want to work out) and it was heaven. something about working hard and sweating wipes my mind clean. and then Joshlyn called and poor her, i vented a lot of my frustrations onto her. and felt much better (thanks!). and now i'm painting baseboards.

and i know that not all days/weeks will be so miserable. and that i will feel happy again and feel peace again. i am usually a very happy, bubbly person. but maybe it makes another mom feel good to know that i have my moments.

moments where i'm sitting at dinner and the kids are all happily eating and squawking like little seagulls and they are so loud. happy, but loud. and ty is tired and stressed about the house and the property and the trees that look like they have bores, and his Scouts and work and the cars and paying the bills. And in my head i think, "this is it. this is my life." and i'm not happy. and then i want to run away. 

and those aren't really helpful thoughts when you are a mother of four you know?

and i think he who must not be named wants me to get depressed and only think in those ways instead of really opening up my eyes and seeing all that i have.

and when those sad times hit where the Goliath standing in front of me is large, and strong, and a formidable mental barrier, that seeps into all my thoughts and feelings:  i want to be strong, and like David say:
“Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. 
This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth: that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.” 1st Samuel 17:42-46

so today, with a little help, i will slay my Goliath and paint those blasted baseboards.

and tomorrow there will be sunshine in my soul. (or maybe the next...it is supposed to be rainy)


master bath...almost done (famous last words)

tile and baby all installed by tyson (hehehe)
the walls are benjamin moore sidwalk gray. the ceiling and trim are benjamin moore chantilly lace.
we still have to put in some can lighting in the ceiling (so the color doesn't keep looking purple to people), a vanity mirror and other essentials, like oh say, a toilet paper roll dispenser. 
ours still sits in the window sill. classy!

this has been a long. long. long process. we don't use a credit card anymore (dave ramsey!) and so had to buy the tile and supplies week by week. and ty had never tiled a shower before (let alone a floor). so it was a learning process. but a mere 2 months later of walking back and forth from the girls' bathroom, it's done.

*if you are ever wondering why someone would buy the more expensive paint because there isn't a difference. there is a big difference. only one coat, no drips. smooth application. heaven.  it all happened by accident too, i had been buying ben moore colors, but having them mix it in generic paint, to save moolah. but one tired, trip to the hardware store with all 4 kids i bought the $65 dollar can. WHAT?  but, what's done is done, so i opened up the lid, put in the paint brush, applied the first stroke and just gasped. "what?" ty asked.  "this paint is amazing!" i said. and so, it turned out to be the best worst mistake i have ever made. i don't think i can ever go back.


baby momma

this is how phoebe walked out of her room this morning. 
i didn't have the heart to tell her that quints would NOT be that much fun in real life.


sleep training a boy with some success and failure

i've used this book as my sleep training "bible", if you must, along with advice from my mother. it has worked beautifully with all three girls. lucy still sleeps 11 hours a night, and the girls 12. abby and phoebe both still nap (abby only about 3 times a week now, but hey, she's 5!). i start at 4 months on their naps, making sure we get a nice windown cuddle session for 20 minutes while we are training. and then lay them down. rodney caught on to nap times but fought it more than the girls ever did. (his is a crazy cuddler) he naps twice a day for 1-3 hours and goes to bed between 5:30-6pm. every monday morning he still cries a bit for his morning nap, (he has just been held all day during church and would like to keep up that practice).

but his nighttime feedings, well, lets just say he doesn't really look malnurished. lucy i didn't sleep train till 10 months, so i didn't have a hard time letting her cry it out at night. abby was a preemie so we kept up our nighttime feeding until 13 months (hey! she was in the 3%!). but she was chill and would only wake up once. phoebe was 1 when i let her cry it out because she was chill too, just one feeding, no biggie.

but this boy. oh this boy! he loves the boobies. usually it was just once or twice a night (more than likely twice) that he would wake up screaming bloody murder! just to get a nursing session in and fall asleep drinking the warm bubbly. but lately it has evolved into 3 times! and i am a walking zombie. i thought i would wait till he was 9 months, but my mom looked at him and said, "he definitely doesn't look like a baby that needs another feeding!".

so last friday i let him cry out his 3am feeding (he had already nursed at 9:30 and 11:30!). oh, the longest 20 minutes of my life. and then saturday night? well he just decided to sleep 12 hours straight. success! sunday night? oh, he cried for an hour at 3am! an hour! i couldn't stand it anymore and went int and nursed him. fail! and then monday night, i let him cry out that 3 am feeding again after nursing him at 11. oh, bloody murder screams for 35 minutes. fail! he went back to sleep on his own, but only until 5:30. in my defense, when he cries, it is NOT like how a girl cries. it's like it's world war II and the germans are invading, that very second!

and last night i fed him a great big oatmeal dinner and...13 hours later he woke up happy and talkative. success again!

now, i'm not holding my breath. i figure every sunday night he is going to want to extend the holding and hugging and nursingtosleep fest from church. but i will persist, i need my sleep. i need my sanity. but it is so hard to let this cute little happy boy cry!


seen and heard: weekend edition

*saturday night ty and i went on a date all the way to st. george. it was crazy! i felt so rebellious/worried about leaving rodney for that long. but, we have faith in our babysitter and ty wanted to use up a gift card we had.

while eating dinner there was a {very} pregnant girl next to us. on the drive home i told ty, "you know, i sat there looking at her, and i thought, "i did that 4 times?". i don't even remember that."

to which he so calmly replied, "I do."


then we went to walmart. our dates have evolved (or detioriated?) into that; every single one ends up with a grocery trip. i hardly ever get there on my own anymore, except after zumba. and that's always fun. i love going out in public in spandex. it's my favorite.

*sunday i substituted abigail's primary class. what a hoot! we were talking about the birth of Jesus, and I asked, "can you tell me how a family gets ready for a baby to come?"

and my own dear, sweet, abby said, "the mom's face is sad because it hurts a lot to get the baby out."  *i'm thinking this is from the Joseph Smith movie we watched for FHE and it had a graphic birth scene in it. either that,  or i talk to much about natural childbirth.


a find, a steal, a bargain

i'm addicted to thrift store shopping now. not so much yard sales, because i don't have the time to drive around with all the kids. but the thrift stores are close enough to my house that i can call a grandma, leave the house and 20 minutes later come back with this beauty for $40:

i've done a litte *when i say little i mean like 5 google searches on this* and guessing it is a flat topped, slatted, metal cased trunk from 1870-early 1900's. the leather straps & wooden slats are so cool. i wish it could tell me its story.



ty and i laugh everyday at phoebe's sweet little language she has. and i have to write it down before she starts to grow up. currently she is struggling with "L"'s (which my mom said i was exactly the same).

In the morning i open up her door (we have a doorknob child lock on her side) to her knocking. She smiles and says, "hi mom! i awake!"

feeriols- cereal/oatmeal
frawerbrerries!- strawberries/blueberries/any berry really
hi wucy- hi lucy
yots and yots- lots and lotsyegs-legs
skoobus!- schoolbus
castle-church or temple
tarving- starving
daybaby!- gray baby our cat
 i yove you!- i love you!
DADDY HOMMMMMEEEE!- daddy is home!
hi nama! hi dampa!- hi grandma! hi grandpa!
if you call her on the phone she will most definitely ask: "you awa comma my howus today?" you come over to my house today?

"i caaazzzyyy!" when she's overtired and we are dancing

"ahhh zumba!!!!" she loves to practice zumba with me

"i feeezing!"- after bathtime

besides all her funny talk, she is turning into a little con artist. she steals everyone's toys and candy. uses stools and chairs to get into the fridge and cupboards. smiles and winks when she's doing something wrong.  timeout works well for her and she actually sits the entire 2 minutes now. afterwards i ask her, " do you know why you went to timeout?" and she'll say "i ah hit abby" hahaha!

our favorite bedtime books right now are caps for sale, the very lonely firefly (with daddy only), go dog go and the little mouse, the red ripe strawberry and the big hungry bear.

favorite bedtime songs are edelweis, somewhere over the rainbow, twinkle twinkle little star.

she still sleeps in a crib.
she still wears diapers.
she still wears a bib.

*photo by jenni

this girl needs some serious hair tlc. anyone know a haircutter that trims feisty wildflowers?


i'm a glass half empty kind of gal

the first thing i say?
"they're so big it makes me feel like you've done something wrong."
go me.


seen and heard

on the way home from our date on saturday night: 
"remember how easy it was when we had only 2 kids?"- me
"what?" - ty (he never hears me the first time-old man syndrome)
"i was thinking about how easy it was when we had only 2 kids"-me
"oh, ha. yeah."-ty

and then we sat in silence the rest of the 15 minutes to home.

those were the glory days i tell you.
this is a valentine from my grandpa to grandma Gold in 1946.
he always signed everything, "just because"


20 months is not a lot

having the last 2 kids so close together has been challenging. but now, every once in a while there will be a sweet moment of quiet playtime where no one is bonking someone on the head with a block or stealing a toy.

i took a picture as phoebe and rodney shared dress up dolls together. and is it just me, or does it look like he is going to tower over her in school? 20 months younger my foot, that kid is a giant.


i miss eating

don't get me wrong, it's not like i'm starving or anything. i have plenty of food options for the day and i eat. but i miss just eating. i feel like i'm going through withdrawals. i want to eat what i want, when i want. i don't want to have to write it down, and be accountable for it. i don't want to meet with people and tell them if i've lost or gained and it hasn't even be a week.  the funny part is, i didn't used to have freedom with food, i was a slave to it. i was its subject and it my master. it would say "come here! i'm your friend! let's spend the night together!"  and i would! oh, i fell for all of food's foxy little tricks. and i paid and paid and paid for it. and i'm fed up! i'm quitting our co-dependent relationship for good this time.

 my brain is telling me when i slip up (because i have a few times already) that "it's all ruined, might as well give up and give in." and "you never are going to do this permanently."

there is no inbetween is what my brain tells me. because i'm either going to be a perfectly healthy eater or a regular at the Golden Corral. it's all or nothing. (this is where my mind always travles during healhty endeavors)

but there is a healthy medium and it's called moderation, and i'm going to find it if it kills me.

it is NOT all or nothing gosh darn it. it's not.


almost 8 months

he can sit all by himself for forever.
he can play by himself.
he can feed himself cheerios, and bananas, and soggy broccoli and apples.
he can drink from his sippy cup.
he can drool all day long, every day, through multiple bibs and outfits.
he can cut a tooth. and almost another one.
he can bite mommy 5 times. 5 times. the girls only bit me once a piece.
he can perfectly content until he sees mommy or daddy walk by, then he must be held immediately.
he can play in his ducky bathtub and splash the water.
he can use his pincer pinch.
he can handle being in the car like a champion.
he can pull your hair faster than a ninja.
he can never let go of your hair.
he can snuggle like all get out.
he can snore like a lumberjack.
he can already torture the dog and cat.
he can not sleep without his precious silky blanky.
he can chew on a binky.
he can not suck on a binky.
he can freak out when large and loud vehicles go by.
he can squeeze your sides with his chunky thighs when he gets excited.
he can not, under any circumstance keep his tongue inside his mouth. should i be worried?
he can play in his play pen every morning, afternoon, and evening, for up to 15 minutes. hallelujah!
he can not crawl yet (double hallelujah!)
he can melt your crusty hard heart in a second.

i wish this little man would stop growing for a while. i love this age.


run for a wish

have you ever had a babysitter for your kids that just felt like, "your" babysitter? like you could call her up any day of the week or weekend and she'd be there for you? and you don't mind if she sees your house dirty. and she knows where everything is in your house and it feels totally normal to have her there?

well that's our jenni. we LOVE her. as in l.o.v.e. sometimes i start to get worried that hte girls prefer her over me. multiple times a day phoebe will say when we get into the car, "weawa git jenniiiii?"

so anyways, jenni is a make a wish kid and every year team Moapa Valley walks in this fundraiser. Well last year two kids came down with the stomach flu so we missed. But this year we all made it, even daddy and cousin Kaleb came. Before the race started we were stuck in the middle of the festivities with the double BOB stroller, which is huge, next to the star wars crew. they were legit! seriously, so cool. i'm surprised phoebe wasn't afraid of them, but abby totally was. chewbacca kept trying to get a picture with her and she would not go for it.

the walk was fun and maybe next year i'll run the 5k! that sounds like a good goal. it was awesome to support our favorite jenni. she is the best. especially because she laughs at all my jokes and knows how to yell at eddie. : )


i'm crazy and i know it. (and some weight loss stuff)

exhibit a: this video. i caught on tape my shenanigans as a mom. like when the kids keep pestering me with questions i break out in song and dance. it drives them crazy! or as abby says here, "you're ruining the video!"

exhibit b: for a while now i've been thinking about doing something about the previous post. you know, the dreaded B word: baby weight. every baby i have i gain at least 35 lbs.

#1. 50lbs.
#2. 35lbs.
#3. 68lbs
#4. 50lbs.

and then i have to sweat and toil for an entire year to lose it. and it takes a lot of work and it stinks.  a lot of the weight that i gain is not necessary, but a result of eating an entire pizza at 3am because i want to. i have some aunts who have had success on weight watchers and i have a dear friend tammy, who was my TNT trainer in 2008-2009 for the Salt Lake City Marathon. And she lost 105 lbs on weight watchers! She is an amazing racealker and just inspirational all aroun.   I'm so grateful to call her my friend. Anyways, i've talked to her more than a few times about weight watchers. and the weirdest part was i signed up on her 7th anniversary on it. i told her about it and she said, "be brave and blog about it!" so i am.  I took the plunge...and signed up! ahhhhh i just wrote that on my blog!!!!

the funniest part is i was so worried about how difficult it would be to learn "points". my brain is rattled and full to the brim already. but i finally did it because i have tried tons and tons of diets. the zone diet (which was the most succesful of them). the south beach diet. the biggest loser diet. the tracy anderson diet (yikes). 5 factor diet. and on and on and on.  and i know most of them work if you actually do them, but my personality cannot handle having "forbidden" foods. i go bat crap crazy if you say, "no sugar" or "no flour". ah!!!! (fyi: ty and i don't even know what bat crap crazy means, but i keep saying it? weird). i also can't handle eating a huge chunk of chicken for 2 meals a day. yuck.  i always make it (The maximum) of 4 weeks on these diets, and then i lose it. i need something lifelong. i need something new.

so the day i signed up online i started to put in my foods that i had eaten and guess what? it adds up everything for you! no thinking required! hallelujah. this is exactly what i need. it tells me when to stop eating and how much more exercise i need for the week etc. etc. etc. fabulous! so i put in my foods and wouldn't you know it, i was all out of points for the day already. and it was only 2pm. ha! no wonder i'm not losing any weight. dur.

it is day 3 on my journey and so far i really enjoy it. i don't know how much i'll write about but i'm really hopeful this time. ty's cheering me on (but not in a machismo way) and i've pretty much told everyone now ( i told all my zumba buddies last night!). so if i'm at your house and i decline your delicous double decker german chocolate cake, please don't be offended. i'm trying hard to make a lifestyle change. wahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.


my spanx give me a false sense of security

last thursday things were running  a little crazy around the house. by the time we got the kids fed and in bed i had to rush and get ready for zumba.

i didn't wear my "special layer" as i like to call it, and hey, didn' think it would really matter.

oh my jello jigglers.

it mattered.

things are have got to change around here. things have got to change.


sometimes the answer is amazingly simple

i've talked before about how hair challenged i am. i definitely started behind the curve having 3 girls in a row. how would i do all that hair? since lucy was about 2 i have attempted to french braid. i've had friends and relatives show me. i've googled it, youtubed it and whatevered it to learn how. and i could never do it. somehow it was just too difficult for my fingers to do. for the life of me i could not figure it out. i just chalked it up as another "fail" in my parenting department.

and then the other day i was doing lucy's hair and i had an epiphany. or as phoebe would say, "yightbulb!" from despicable me. do it in reverse. braid it under instead of over, like an inside out braid (what are those called?). my roommate teresa always did hers like that but i assumed it was more advanced and needed to learn regular first. well guess what? i'm lefthanded (just like teresa) and it worked! i automatically could french braid. just like that. poof. magic. i'm still a rusty beginner, but lucy proudly stepped onto the bus this morning in two matching (and pretty even if i say so) french braids. i don't think she could have fanned her tail feathers out more if she tried.

as i was talking to my sister danna about this last night (she's in town. hoorah!) i realized how simple the solution was is just like my trials in parenting lately. for 7 years i have been a mom, some days are good, some are more trying. but overall i always felt like i could keep up with the kids and get by. but this past year and half have been hard. i can't keep up with their wants and needs. they were not feeling loved. i just couldn't do it on my own anymore. i asked advice up and down the street, read books, and beat myself up mentally for not being able to be a good mom.

and then, the poof. magic. moment happened.  prayer. i know right? that just sounds too simple. but i had exhausted my resources. and morning after morning and day after day i prayed for help. help to know their needs. help to make them feel loved. help for them to be happy. help to keep the house in order (which facilitates a lot of their comfort and happiness). because years and years of trying on my own and advice from others was like trying to french braid the regular way. and my fingers just can't do that. but to go straight to the source and say, "i can not do this on my own. please help me to figure it out" and then ask advice, research and get to work. i'm amazed at the difference it has made in our home.

the peace.

the happiness.

i just had to try it in reverse.


master bedroom pictures

i asked ty why he is so dang grumpy lately. in his reply he mumbled something like, "there so much i have to do on the house."

and this is true. almost every spare moment of this man's life is spent towards fixing the house, our vehicles or the property. but, and this is a big but, we knew it would be like this. does it make our life stressful? yes. does it keep us out of trouble? double yes. our bedroom has been undergoing some huge transformations. in my quest for cleanliness i have been mainstreaming everything and purging. we moved around a lot of furniture and pictures and i'm really happy with the results so far. our bedroom is so nice now it is "off limits" to anyone who is not a parent. it really is a peaceful little spot of our house.

of course we have no idea how to agree on the closet openings. ty likes them bare with nothing. i like curtains. should we make doors? i just don't know.
ty finished the tile of our master bath and i just finished painting the bathroom! expect some pictures of the finished product soon.
*and fyi* my room is a disaster now trying to keep a 2 year old entertained while i paint.
Related Posts with Thumbnails