when the stomach bug hits your house

when baby lucy got sick i looked in the books, googled and webmd'd every symptom and worried and worried and fretted and fretted. i remember taking her to the doctor because she had a temperature of a 102! i was positive she was going to die.   once when she was 14 months she got the stomach flu, and threw up all. day. long. by the time ty came home from work she was lethargic and unresponsive. every time we gave her water or a bottle she would just throw up even more. so we took her to the emergency room. ( i can't even imagine doing that nowadays.) we must have looked so silly to the doctor. they checked her out, and came back with a...popsicle. yup, she was just dehydrated and needed a little sugar. it perked her right up in about 20 minutes.

that was the most expensive popsicle i've ever purchased.

fast forward 6 years later and only a missing eyeball or broken limb could warrant a trip to the er.  when the fevers spike, and symptoms pile up, we just use the 72 hour rule (thank you bill). if they aren't better or their symptoms become worse by 72 hours, then you can start to worry (a little).

yesterday, we came down with the stomach flu. apparently it's making its way around the neighborhood. rodney was hit hard first. poor little dude was so confused but took it like a champ. it was nice for me because he was snuggly again and napped on my lap. my mom called to offer moral support and ask what i could do to make him better and i said, "trust me mom, i know exactly how to take care of this." because we've been blessed with a family of pukers, i know once it hits to cover their crib and couch with towels. get a bowl out and play with baby on the ground by it.  we take lots and lots of baths and we give tiny sips of water every 20 minutes. if they keep down that water we try a bite of dry toast or cracker and wait 20 minutes. if they keep that down we can try more liquids and cracker. but usually, they can't handle any more than that for several hours. and once daddy comes home it is time for a popsicle. their tummies have settled down enough, and they are ready for some sugar and electrolytes and some BRAT diet. bananas, rice, applesauce and dry toast. works like a charm.

today rodney is feeling great. and daddy and abby are down with it hard. such is life. i think next week is a perfect time to shampoo the carpets and couches don't you?



i don't think i'm the only mom who worries about their children's future. i have a hard time reading the newspaper or even listening to 5 minutes of the news. it is crazy out there. but then again, the news focuses on the negative and who needs that right? i'm negative enough by myself, don't really need any help there! solution? well besides lots of prayer i've demanded from ty that we do more traditions with the kids. things they can rely on and that maybe some day they will look back in 30 years and be grateful that we did them.

i remember my mom always talking about going to the cemeteries on memorial day to visit ancestors. and sunday night i asked ty if that's a new tradition we could do with the children. he acquiesced so early monday morning we headed to both local cemeteries to see ty's great-grandparents and uncle cord. the girls whined at first but had fun when were there. phoebe got in trouble for walking on the headstones and threw a tantrum, but all in all it was a fun start to a new tradition.


starting to feel like job

a month ago i almost blagged (blog bragging) about how healthy our little family has been. i was pretty proud of our healthy streak of 4 whole months with not even the sniffles! i proudly chalked it up to my awesome skills of on guard oils on hands and feet regularly, green smoothies and our ormus super greens, probiotic pearls and clean house (that last part was a joke).

but for a month we have been sick. it started with ty, who now i think must have had strep, because his sore throat lasted 3 weeks. and then two weeks ago we got hit with PINK EYE! and then a nasty cold, and then PINK EYE! again, and rodney has had a cold again. and i think, oh man! it's finally over.  and start to breathe a sigh of relief.

last night we had girls night at our house for andrea, who is moving (that little stinker). it was so nice to have kids sleep through the night, and not wash their pillowcases twice a day or lysol every square inch. i laughed and laughed and enjoyed myself with all my neighbor friends till late at night. and went to bed happy, for a few hours. phoebe woke up first warning me she felt sick. and then barfed all over the couch.

and then rodney upchucked all over his crib.

perfect. just perfect.

i think it is proving my theory that lysol actually kills your immune system. that one's been rolling around in my head for a few years.

but we must end on a cheerful note (ha!). i finally got a picture of rodney's obsession with grey baby.

i have the cutest video but it's refusing to upload. oh well, here's to a  healthier week.


as good as it gets

one of my favorite scenes from a movie is when jack nicholson walks into the waiting room at his psychiatrists office, looks over all the tired, frazzled, depressed patients and queries, "what if this, is as good as it gets?" to which they all gasp and look horrified.

but lately, when i'm strapping all the kids into their car seats, again, or filling up sippy cups, again, or  changing a diaper again, because apparently my kids only like to go poop in a brand NEW diaper, thank you very much. and taking a few minutes in the car to go over parking lot rules and grocery store rules and church rules and grandma and grandpa rules, i think, "oh, it's going to be so much easier when they are older." but i remember hearing a friend tell me how difficult marriage is once your kids get older. you don't get to sit down at the end of a long, hard day, and go, "you are going to die when you hear what phoebe said today to the visiting teachers!", or "look at the new drawing abby made of you!".  no, at the end of those days your kids are still out with friends, or grounded, or arguing with you over a science project deadline. no cute baby talk, or first steps, first words, cute patty cake games or peek a boo sessions to connect over.

today,  my lovely friends came to my house and i heard the message; they would give anything to have little babies again. the innocence, the cuteness, the chubby thighs and drool marks! oh, how those things are totally endearing. i looked a rodney after they left, crawling around and babbling and thought, "he doesn't even nurse anymore!" he is getting so big. life is speeding by and i'm wishing a lot of my days away. i crawl out of bed in the morning and get things marked off that absolutely have to, lunches. check. homework. check. breakfast. check. dishes. check. snacks. check. clean up. check. diapers diapers and diapers, check.  and then, oh blessed nap time! how i could write a book full of poems of my love affair with nap time. and then from 3pm onward i count down the clock to bedtime. oh blessed bed time! i could do the same with you! my mom said, "if you ever are having a hard time with your kids, go look at them when they sleep". and i'm sure non-parents are thinking, "geez, lady. all you want is your kids to be gone and asleep?" but dude, you have no idea what 90 minutes of quiet can do for a mom with young kids. SERENITY NOW! should be pasted onto my doorbell during that time.

so i don't know what i meant by this, but i do want to enjoy the today and now more, and not wish it away. i'm not going to dismiss that taking care of little bodies is physically exhausting, because it is. there is no getting around that. anthony, my trusty phone repairman, came over for an upgrade during lunchtime on monday. and boy, did the kids put on a show. throwing food and sippy cups, (rodney). talking extremely too loud for the rooms size, (phoebe), whining about everything and fighting with sister (abby).  he very politely said, "you know, it's so easy to forget what its like with little kids (his are all a lot older)". to which i just laughed and thought, "you didn't forget, you BLOCKED IT OUT!" hahahaha.  so yes, little children are hard to manage. but teenagers? no control whatsoever. and adult children seem to break their parents' hearts even more than you could ever imagine.

so, if this is as good as it gets, i'll take it. because even though i go through diapers and wipes like crazy, and never leave the house because we are crazy, and talk baby talk to ty over the phone on accident, things are still good. we have abosolutely uneventful yet  stressful days and windows break and bills go unpaid and plans that need time and money that you don't have...there are still little moments like this:
grandma curtis and rodney: may, 2012

and that makes it all completely, entirely, 100% worth it.


writer's block

This past week I've been wallowing in a landfill of tissues and Lysol. I was adamant of killing any virus that made its way towards us. And then...I got sick. Just a bad cold,mind you. Nothing serious, but it did come with body aches and tiredness. Like, I have a newborn tired. Not pretty. so instead of disenfecting every surface and following the kids around with tissues. i collapsed on the couch and every once a while would shout out, "make sure you wash your hands." can you even imagine phoebe washing her hands by herself? talk about a large water bill the next month.

And there are so many good, funny, interesting things happening around here, and I can't write. I blame you aunt Hattie...I really do. See, two weeks ago we went to Troy and kizzie's wedding (she was gorgeous, by the way, gorgeous) and aunt hattie walks me arm and arm toward a table to meet her friends.   and in the blur of "hello's" and "this is annie..." i hear "OH! i love your blog!"  and i wish i could see what my face looked like at that moment (but probably not, because i'm sure it was in shock).  this was a first for me. yes, I will admit, i have had people come up to me and tell me they love my blog. but, i KNOW these people. at some point or another our lives have crossed paths.

this time, a stranger talks to me about this blog. and my "writing" and even says the word "book." i was in a daze. is this for real? or has aunt hattie has been drugging up these ladies to talk to me like this? it was just crazy and i was more than blushing. and then, i meet another lady, and another lady who start gushing about my blog and kids and writing. by this point my head was spinning out of control. and, ok, it was a little fun and exciting, (ok! a lot exciting!)  and after they leave, i look at ty who is smiling at me and i'm still in shock. on the drive home i asked, "can you believe that?" "they love my writing?" "they love the blog?". ty doesn't respond, he usually doesn't, he just smiled.  but i went to bed with the highest of highs. who knew, this little thing that started out as a journal would turn into something like this?

now, i know i'm nothing as the likes of those power bloggers.  but it still went to my head, and i got all excited and had plans of taking more pictures and blogging more and then...nothing.

nada. i have nothing to write, or i'm writing differently. and if there is anything that reigns horror in a writer's mind is losing your "voice" in your writing. i've talked with lots of friends who have noticed that once a blogger gets popular their voice changes, and it's not very fun reading their contrived and sponsored writing compared to spontaneous and honest writing.

so here i am, writing about not knowing what to write. do i share too much? do i share too little? do i take too many pictures? am i too honest? am i not honest enough? should i go into hiding like the unibomber? oh wait, i've been doing that for a week now. anyways, just letting you know i'm here. i'm thinking. and that is never a very good situation.

hopefully the sickies will pass and i will feel more human soon. but the bonus of having a major sore throat and no voice? you don't eat as much! and you lose weight! BONUS! hahahahahaahaha. the only upside i could find.


weekend watch

if you do anything this weekend, you should watch this.

i love inspiring stories like this. aren't our bodies absolutely amazing?


gift giving

ty and i always argue about the same things. nothing has really changed. the conversations have morphed a little bit, and matured (a little bit). but come stress, the same stuff always comes out to battle.  one of the things we have never seen eye to eye on is presents.

to me, gift giving is something that was really rare growing up. christmas, birthday. done and done.

for him, gift receiving and giving is an every holiday thing, and inbetween thing.

but that is just the tip of the iceberg.

we can't even decide what the definition of a "gift" is.

to me,  a gift is something that someone needs, is nice, and new. form and function, duh! everyone loves getting something they need that is nice and new! or maybe just women do, because we always hold out on buying things for ourselves that we need and/or want.  (most things i need i want, but not very many things i want i need). a gift is a surprise! the person doesn't know what you got them, hence, the wrapping paper. you put thought and effort into choosing something special that you know they will use and enjoy.

confused yet?

to ty, a gift is something that you really, really want. a complete extravagance that you wouldn't buy for yourself. a gift is something that is not within your budget. (he even gives the girls $2 per lost tooth) crazy talk. a gift is something he either, a) asks you what you want, and tell you exactly what store it is at and their operating hours.  or b) gives you cash for, or c) goes with you to buy it, or d) has you order it online for yourself while he's watching over your shoulder.

so you can imagine how our holidays, birthdays, go. he gives me something totally out of my price range, that i know i'm getting but feel guilty that he bought it because i know both of the utility bills are due on friday and the mortgage due the following tuesday (stress week!). and, in turn, i give him something he needs that is new and nice, like dress pants, a book to read that he would like, a new ice chest for work, a new baseball hat or shirt.  sometimes i'll surprise him and buy a baseball card, but let's be honest, i never like buying those because he buys them for himself. i want it to be a surprise! and unexpected! (but within our budget!)

so both give a gift along the lines of what we really want, and both end up a little dissatisfied. i bought him a brand new ipod with points 2 years ago, that he never used and it turned into my zumba ipod. he bought me an ipad for mother's day and i can hardly look at it because it was so expensive (and we bought an old one!) but ty? he loves it! it's perfect for our late nights on the couch.

i imagine that as we get older and mature, we will start thinking more of the other person than ourselves, and compromise on the definition and price limit on gifts.  but for now, we are still at odds.

ty might get mad at me for sharing this about us, but i have a hunch that we are not the only couple who has this problem, and maybe someone has a solution. and maybe my kids will read this and laugh at how stupid we used to be when we were young. whatever the reason i wrote this post was, it was nice to not talk about how the PINK EYE is gone and FEVERS and EAR INFECTIONS and COUGHS took its place.

cabin fever!!!!!!


i have first world problems

-the kids go to bed early. and it is wonderful! but ty wants me to stay up late with him. and then, well, my kids wake UP early. as in, by 6:30am everyone is up and at 'em.

problem: i always, always, always, want to hide under my warm covers and keep sleeping for at least 2 more hours instead of making breakfast at 6am.

-rodney learned how to pull himself up on saturday.
problem: he can now reach the light switch above his crib and the closet door handle. so guess what he does during naptime instead of sleeping? onoffonoffonoffonoff. openshut.openshut.openshut.openshut.

-phoebe, rodney and abby all nap at the same time during the afternoon. and they are pretty consistent with this. so, instead of getting a ton of work done while they all sleep, i usually take my "lunch break" from work. small lunch, study time, fluff book reading time, and then i usually fall asleep.

problem: the house looks like this about 20 minutes before ty gets home. (let's be honest though, usually 3 times as bad as this. ok, fine! it's like 300 times as bad) then i do i  the dirty dash: music on, dishes cleaned up, counters wiped off, floors vacuumed really quickly, dirty diaper trash taken out. i used to do this every afternoon when we had 2 kids, and 3 kids, but with 4 it is almost impossible! so now i am doing it first thing in the morning, and it's helping a ton.

-ty bought me these roses for mother's day. aren't they beautiful? he was still feeling sick on sunday from his terrible cold.

problem: i had the worst mother's day ever. phoebe, abby and i all came down with pink eye. i took care of the sick ones, segregated the healthy ones away from us. washed all the sheets and pillow cases. lysoled the entire house twice, cooked the dinner, cleaned up, did a few of the dishes and then went to bed early. i did get to talk to my mom on the phone and had friends text me. but still, blah.

-yesterday i took the 3 youngest to the dr in st. george. filled up with gas, ate lunch with no major accidents or spills (success!) and headed home. there were a lot of errands i had to run and random things at walmart to pick up, but i have kids with PINK EYE and you DON'T TAKE THEM PLACES OR SEND THEM TO SCHOOL OR CHURCH so it doesn't spread. sorry, small rant here. i'm done. * my dr. said 24 hours after they are on the drops they aren't contagious anymore. we were all confused about this

problem: we are still quarantined today and i have to wash all the sheets and pillowcases again and disenfect every surface about 5 million times.

please feel extremely sorry for me.


a mother's day

i am lucky enough to be in a long line of wonderful mothers, and today instead of complaining about being home with pink eye infested children and a quarantined home,
i want to talk about one of the finest mothers i know.

my grandma gold was born in 1905 in clarion county pennsylvania.
and at the age of 32 she met my grandfather on a ship sailing to panama.
they wed and had 6 children, her last at the young age of 43.

 all of her children adore her and i love to hear my aunts and uncles talk about her. i can see the generations of wonderful people that have come from just one woman. it is amazing to see.

she was a pediatric nurse for 10 years before becoming a mother, and was a firm believer in schedules and routines for your children. my favorite story is how she would give all the kids dramamine in applesauce for car trips (go grandma!)
she was beautiful and smart and a fantastic tennis player (something grandpa could never beat her at)

grandma was a hard worker, from sun up to sun down. she still lived on her own after grandpa passed till she was 96! she finally passed away at the age of 97, 5 months before my wedding.
grandma gold and aunt marsha (i think? )
on the Gruber Dairy Farm. she grew up on a dairy farm and payed her way through nursing school from raising and selling pigs.
she had an wonderful sense of humor and always made us laugh. she spoiled the grandchildren with waffles covered in ice cream, strawberries and whipped cream and sleepovers in her living room. i will always remember how many people were at her funeral and had the highest praise for that lovely lady.

grandma always had a beautiful rose garden and flower beds. i still remember kneeling in front of the roses and her showing me how to prune and dead head them. grandma sewed all of her daughters dresses growing up (can you even imagine sewing for 5 girls?), and their prom and wedding dresses.  her tapioca pudding and fried fish were always perfect and grandpa loved her for it. she was sassy and witty and always cheerful. a lutheran growing up, grandma converted to the LDS faith when she met grandpa. she was faithful until the end and always worked hard at her church callings.
she made all of her grandchildren a quilt and she hand embroidered all of her grandaughters a special green apron . it is one of my prized possessions.

i think my favorite thing about grandma is that she always made me feel like i was her favorite, and after she passed we all found out that she made everyone feel that way (that sneaky fox!).  i remember helping her clean (i think she was 95?) and finding miniature reese's peanut butter cups all over the house. so funny! i sure miss my grandma. all that i ever hope to be and all that i am i owe to my mother and her mother and her mother and her mother and her mother......


linky loo for the weekend

i just finished reading this. ugh, melanie, it took me forever! but a good mystery overall.

some things every pregnant woman should know

i watched this talk the other day and it was exactly what i needed. i love how straight forward he is. you can read it here.

our wallpaper arrived for the laundry room. but tyson is sick, we'll see when we get that puppy finished.

we are taking family pictures on saturday before we head to a family wedding reception. i have no idea what we will all wear.

the girls had their end of the year recital for this program yesterday.   watching the girls up there i realized that we had had a rough go around this year with a baby in the house. i never forced them to practice because it wasn't worth it to me, but i also didn't implement some cute reward system so they would be motivated to do it.  we had fun going to the classes, but i realized that i failed in that department this year. oh well, at least i kept them fed and clothed, right?

and in other news, rodney is 11 months old today. 11 MONTHS!! how time flies.


that boy

i'm currently thinking that any of you that have more than one boy deserve a medal of honor.
this boy is  hard to keep up with.


thoughts at the lady doc

i had my annual check up yesterday (can you say fun?!) and had 5 hours all to myself. completely alone. no children. nada.

i don't think other moms would be surprised if they knew how weird it is for me to be alone. i mean, i'm alone a lot in the house when the children are napping or sleeping. but i'm still in the house, with the checklist in front of me.

i know why most women choose to always stay busy. when you run from one thing to another, music always on, away from the house, you don't have time to think.  when you are having a hard time the last thing you want is to be alone with your thoughts. i've been feeling a push to write more about what post partum depression has been like for me with each baby, but i'm still not quite ready yet.

i'm happy to report that yesterday was good. i am in a nice place in my head now. the silence was soothing. the errands didn't annoy and irritate. all of the stores reminded me that sunday is mother's day. and for a few weeks the thought in my head rolling around (thanks to nienie) is, "motherhood is..."  "motherhood is...".  i've answered that question more than a few times on paper,

motherhood is who i am
motherhood is permanent
motherhood is not parenting
motherhood is exhausting
motherhood is sacred
motherhood is in all of us

but alas, none of them formed into an essay in any way, shape or form. just thoughts that popped in the air once they came out.

but yesterday, as the doctor gave my chest a good check-up, including the annual breast exam (oh baby) i was in a much different place then after i had been for awhile. i wasn't embarrassed of the state i am in. i peacefully watched as he basically saw every inch of a woman's features that we try to hide, conform and change.

and i can report, that motherhood is on me. it is written all over my body like words in a well used journal. my chest has expanded and contracted with each new live it has given milk (i've nursed for more than 10% of my life. weird.). and just like silly putty, there's only so many times you can stretch it out and put it back together until it loses it's firmness and shape (think national geographic my friends).  my hips have expanded (but not quite contracted again) to support and bear a child through them. my hair is full of long hairs strengthened with hormones, and short wispy baby hairs from hormones. my face has laugh lines and sun lines streaking across every square inch. each one of those wrinkles is from sadness or laughter, or worry and fraught. squinting in the sun to watch the splashes in the pool and the jumps off the diving boards.

 as i carried out the recycling this morning i thought, "i am my body". it is one of the most amazing gifts i've ever been given. it's strong enough to carry my children and hike a mountain. it's soft enough to make love to my husband and comfort a newborn.  it is beautiful exactly how it is. and i wish i could have always felt this way about it, but i think it has been a process. with each dark moment and sad phase of wanting and wishing and desperately trying to make it different than it is, i've gained a little more acceptance afterwards. when i'm in my good place, i'm happy when i exercise and enjoy the huffing and puffing and sweat. i'm not punishing my body for having thighs that touch and chafe, i'm living in it. i'm using it. somedays the time to exercise is replaced with movie time and kisses with the husband, or rocking a sick baby to sleep, or mopping the eternally dirty kitchen floor. but i don't worry or fret about it. there is always tomorrow, and there is always my body. and my body can move and dance and jiggle and shake. and oh, how dancing makes me truly and completely happy.

my body has allowed me to do all of these wonderful things, and has been patient with my stubbornness, negativity and abuse over the years. but in the end of it all, it is my body and i love it. if there is any legacy i leave my daughters, it would be happiness. their mother was beautiful and happy, because she chose it. she chose to see the infinite, good and eternal things our bodies can do and allow us to experience. she chose beauty. she chose strength. she chose happy. she chose herself.

how wonderful of  a world would be if we could always feel this way about ourselves and others?

post workout creepy photobooth face
*my writing seems to be more and more random these days. must be the weather.


oh my G%#

i remember a few years ago, Jandee and I were talking about movies and how bad most of them are becoming these days (yes, just like a little old lady bridge club). i remarked about the usual stuff that has always offended me, unnecessary nudity, adultery, explicit sex scenes, you know...stuff in every movie.  she remarked that her husband Jordan cringed every time a character took the Lord's name in vain. If a movie said it too many times they stopped watching it.  that really struck me, as i never really even noticed when people said that, or took offense to it.

fast forward to lucy's 1st grade fall semester and talk at the dinner table. she questioned why one of her friends would say the G-- word so much. i reminded her that not everyone is of our faith and believes that it's wrong to take the Lord's name in vain.  and then ty reminded the entire family dinner table that, it IS one of the 10 Commandments, you know, that were given to Moses? in that big book called The Holy Bible?

i really laughed at how i never really got that before. unless people aren't Christian, or maybe there are Christians that don't believe in the commandments or The Bible? i am pretty naive. but seriously, the majority of the people that i associate with are Christian and do believe in God.

anyways, in the past year i have noticed more and more how much it is said around me in the media and in the public. and...it's offensive to me now. now i know that most people say it out of habit, it's a cultural slang of expression of surprise and shock. just watch a home remodel on the DIY channel. you'll hear it said about upteenthousand times.  people aren't really thinking about what they are saying and what it actually means.  but maybe that's the point. maybe we don't think enough about what we are saying, and the meaning behind it. maybe people don't realize that they are taking the Lord's name in vain. (vain: a derivitave of the word is to take someone's name in vain use someone's name in a way that shows a lack of respect.) maybe we are too apathetic too care, or to think, "you know, maybe i should say that a little less, or find something else to say instead."

so, i don't know the point of this post. i just know that i have been thinking about this a lot, and trying a little more to think before i say things. because maybe i'm repeating phrases and words* that are offensive to others, that have a lot of meaning behind them but i've just fallen into a bad habit.  and i'm not expecting the world to change over night, but i know i can try a little harder.

*i have a habit of calling people "retarded" when they make dumb choices. in no way, shape, or form am i referring to people with special needs. but i can understand how family members of a special needs person would find that offensive.



rodney has found out that not only can he crawl, but he can crawl to get places! this is always a bittersweet moment, bitter because you can't expect them to stay still, but sweet because they entertain themselves more.

yesterday i heard him belly laughing and turned around to see him heckling grey baby the cat. he also has found the DVR button (ahem, ty, we still need a shelf) and pushed it so many times it broke.

 don't judge my messy table mmkay?
 ty took these pictures on saturday while i napped (yes! i napped!)
 rodney played with sticks for over an hour
his favorite gadget to play with is the dishwasher. something about that thing really calls to him. he hears it open and crawls over as fast as possible. church the last few weeks have been difficult as we don't let him leave the confines of between ty and me and the chairs. "but mom!" he says, "look at all those exposed electrical outlets i could put my fingers in!"  i can be such a buzzkill sometimes huh buddy?


knowledge is power...and less painful

i didn't realize how ominous my previous post title would end up...but ominous it was.

you ladies know exactly where i'm going, because a lopsided and hurting chest can go from that to a burning mastitis inferno in about 2.4 seconds. and this is where that story is heading.

the first time i had mastitis i was stuck in our jeep with ty and the two oldest girls. we were driving to disneyland and the traffic was insufferable. can you say parking lot? between baker and barstow i went from a tight chest to a fever of 104.3 and hallucinations. that was the closest i felt to dying, and wanting to die for that matter, in my life. i spent the next day in a hotel room on antibiotics and drainage duty. SO FUN!...not.  i don't ever recommend going to disneyland with a 10week old preemie and forgetting your medela pump at home. all that money for nothing!

so, long story short (too late) yesterday things progressively tightened as the day went on. the heat and the cold rotations of a heating pad and cabbage leaves were not working. (which, by the way, lying down with a heating pad with a 2 yr old, 10 month old and cranky 5 year old is near the top of my not fun moments) but i did remember how refreshing those cold cabbage leaves feel, and man are they the right cup size for me. like a glove : ) but the non-bra wearing decision was not helping at all. by 3pm it hurt so badly i couldn't move that one arm...and panic set it.  i was getting mastitis and things had to be addressed immediately.

thankfully my mother-in-law was free for the afternoon and rushed down as my mom was heading to el templo.  i called my dr's office for a scrip of antibiotics in case things took a turn for the worse overnight. and thank goodness i called! i found out that i'm the biggest mastitis retard on the earth. because apparently getting mastitis with an 10 week old or 4 week old baby, is NOT the same as when you get mastitis when you're baby has weaned.  who knew? obviously, not me.

"do not apply heat on it", the kind nurse instructed. "uh oh," i thought in my head. "and don't move, touch, stimulate them at all".  "oh snap" i thought again.  i had been doing everything wrong, and i mean everything.  with my 2 previous cases of mastitis the instructions were rotations of ice and heat every 10 minutes and pump and drain and nurse those puppies till kingdom come.

i laid in bed with 4 sports bras on and slept from 3:30pm onward (except for dinnertime) and iced and iced and iced and gave ty strict instructions to not even look at my chest area (it really hurts that badly). poor guy.

luckily kathryn helped me out with my church activity last minute and my sister in-law subbed my zumba class for me so i could sleep sleep sleep. ty walked in every once in a while and switched my ice packs. and it's doing much better, thanks for asking.

the best part of the story is i was just giving advice to a new mom about how to take care of mastitis, and here i get it myself ( well, luckily i abated it before the fever and hallucinations set in like with abby). but still! never underestimate the power of how giving advice will bite you in the behind...

or boob.

take your pick.



-since rodney weaned himself things have been a little...ahem...painful. i tried to relieve the fullness and hurt- but it only made matters worse. so try not to bump into my chest in the next few days- it could cripple me.

-in other news tyson has nicknamed rodney "goat baby". as he is happily drinking goat's milk by the bottleful these days from our friends' awesome farm. i'm very grateful for other alternatives then cows milk since all of my kids have had issues with it (and they can blame that all on me).


our daytime babysitters

our neighbors bring their horses by everyone once in a while to graze in our pasture. and, i don't know who gets more excited, the girls or me. i know exactly where phoebe is at all times when buckles and freckles are around! (and not one of these photos are edited- our field is amazing right now)

the cats hang around the horses a lot too. (guess how many roly polies are in her bug catcher)

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