gift giving

ty and i always argue about the same things. nothing has really changed. the conversations have morphed a little bit, and matured (a little bit). but come stress, the same stuff always comes out to battle.  one of the things we have never seen eye to eye on is presents.

to me, gift giving is something that was really rare growing up. christmas, birthday. done and done.

for him, gift receiving and giving is an every holiday thing, and inbetween thing.

but that is just the tip of the iceberg.

we can't even decide what the definition of a "gift" is.

to me,  a gift is something that someone needs, is nice, and new. form and function, duh! everyone loves getting something they need that is nice and new! or maybe just women do, because we always hold out on buying things for ourselves that we need and/or want.  (most things i need i want, but not very many things i want i need). a gift is a surprise! the person doesn't know what you got them, hence, the wrapping paper. you put thought and effort into choosing something special that you know they will use and enjoy.

confused yet?

to ty, a gift is something that you really, really want. a complete extravagance that you wouldn't buy for yourself. a gift is something that is not within your budget. (he even gives the girls $2 per lost tooth) crazy talk. a gift is something he either, a) asks you what you want, and tell you exactly what store it is at and their operating hours.  or b) gives you cash for, or c) goes with you to buy it, or d) has you order it online for yourself while he's watching over your shoulder.

so you can imagine how our holidays, birthdays, go. he gives me something totally out of my price range, that i know i'm getting but feel guilty that he bought it because i know both of the utility bills are due on friday and the mortgage due the following tuesday (stress week!). and, in turn, i give him something he needs that is new and nice, like dress pants, a book to read that he would like, a new ice chest for work, a new baseball hat or shirt.  sometimes i'll surprise him and buy a baseball card, but let's be honest, i never like buying those because he buys them for himself. i want it to be a surprise! and unexpected! (but within our budget!)

so both give a gift along the lines of what we really want, and both end up a little dissatisfied. i bought him a brand new ipod with points 2 years ago, that he never used and it turned into my zumba ipod. he bought me an ipad for mother's day and i can hardly look at it because it was so expensive (and we bought an old one!) but ty? he loves it! it's perfect for our late nights on the couch.

i imagine that as we get older and mature, we will start thinking more of the other person than ourselves, and compromise on the definition and price limit on gifts.  but for now, we are still at odds.

ty might get mad at me for sharing this about us, but i have a hunch that we are not the only couple who has this problem, and maybe someone has a solution. and maybe my kids will read this and laugh at how stupid we used to be when we were young. whatever the reason i wrote this post was, it was nice to not talk about how the PINK EYE is gone and FEVERS and EAR INFECTIONS and COUGHS took its place.

cabin fever!!!!!!