8.05.2012

life in a slump


rodney isn't a baby anymore, he's a little toddler. i have swapped late night nursing marathons with washing off his face, hands and feet one million times a day that are constantly covered in dirt, food and boogies. he is taking steps (but not quiet confident enough to walk), he feeds himself his food, he is starting to learn words like, "cokie" (cookie monster), "kiiiiiii" (kitty),  "UH OH!" his favorite, "nana" (banana) and "ni ni" (night night).  he blows kisses and sometimes gives kisses. he still loves daddy the most, but is connected to me 24/7.  he does have a sweet spot for his grandmas, all four of them. no wonder one of his first words is cookie. ha.

we are stir crazy in the house. it's hot, the kids are watching way too much tv, i can't get any of my projects done. even though i have so many blessings to be thankful for, things just feel hard right now. normal everyday tasks seem to take more out of me than normal. ty was gone for a week of scout camp, usually it's not that big of a deal. we will travel when he's gone or have friends come and visit. we had planned to go down to California, but Rodney woke up Monday morning with 101* fever and would not eat a thing.  we stayed home, and i fell into a deep black hole called netflix. i really just wanted to be alone. do you know how much i am alone?  never, ever, ever. and i know that i am very blessed with family, and children and friends and that's a great thing. but my depression seems to rear up when i'm locked inside from the heat, and i just want to be left alone. the poor kids, i just fed them and clothed them and let them do whatever they want. wednesday and thursday we went and helped  my mom recover from foot surgery (well, we didn't really "help" but we did keep her entertained!). ty got home saturday afternoon and the kids were ecstatic. i just wanted to get out of the house, and sadly, that's the last thing ty wanted to do. he really worked hard for Camp Kolob this year and wanted a hot shower and to watch some baseball.

i looked at my iphoto and realized i haven't taken pictures of the kids lately or the house lately or anything lately.  i've slowly slipped into a little slump and am realizing it for the first time. baby steps to climb out of it. tomorrow's goal? workout in the morning and finally get all the clothes and odd items put away into the attic that have been sitting in my living room for a week.

how do you get out of a slump?

*church was so great today. i so didn't want to go. i wanted to curl up in my soft sheets and sleep for a century. either that, or clean the house while everyone was gone. but i went anyways, and it was, like always, a great decision.
**i think i'm ready for ty to take the kids somewhere every saturday for 3 hours. can you even imagine how much i could get done? and be alone? plus, daddy would get that quality time with them to boot. i always wondered why we went skiing on saturdays without my mom, now i know! 8 hours of freedom sounds heavenly.

4 comments:

Bowler Family said...

Hang in there girlfriend. I think everyone is suffering from, "I-hate-this-damn-summer-is-it-ever-going-to-be-over" depression!! We're all getting more and more stupid by the amount of tv we are watching!! I'm getting through the next few weeks with little grace and then September I will try harder!! Until then? Let the stupidy commence!!

The Leavitts said...

I think it is going around cause i am for sure in my own dark hole. We need to get together and talk and it will help, right!?!

Rosemary said...

Wow, I feel exactly the same way as you today. I was wandering around my messy house this morning, stepping on crumbs, and wondering whether it was worth it to try to get anything real done and why I feel so BLAH. Three hours on the weekends would be awesome, but I don't think my husband would go for it, and I'd feel bad taking that time away from him when he has to waste two hours every day sitting on his butt in traffic. Love your blog!

Lisa said...

Oh, Annie! I feel exactly the same way! I HATE this Summer! School can't start soon enough. The kids are fighting and bored and watching WAY too much TV. I have no energy to do anything. My house is trashed and I really don't care. All I want to do is run away for a night to a hotel room and sleep for a full 8 uninterrupted hours. I say that and it makes me feel so selfish :-/. Oh well! Summer is almost over. The kids will go back to school. It will start to cool off and we can start having park days again. I just keep telling myself that, "This, too, shall pass." :D

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