10.10.2012

a major league mom

 You want to know what’s been on my mind for the past few months? I want to be a better mom. I started crawling out of my cave of suffocation that is spelled babyrodney, and noticed that I want more. I want more for my kids, more from me, more for our family.


One day I even googled, “professional stay-at-home mom” and you know what showed up? Just lawyers, doctors, PhD’s that stay at home with their kids. None of it had anything to do with being a “professional” stay at-home mom. Meaning, the best of the best. Because there are “dancers” and then there are “professional dancers” which equals= a big difference. Kind of like someone who plays triple A baseball, or those who are in the big show.  What’s the difference between them? Well, a lot is talent, but 90% of it is effort. Both mental and physical effort and preparation put into their jobs.

Most days I’m behind, I don’t wake up to an alarm anymore; I just sleep in till a warm body pokes me in the eye asking for nutrition. Can you imagine waking up at work? Starting out work in your pajamas? Squeezing in a shower while you distract your coworkers with a YouTube video? How do you think your day would go? I’m guessing pretty darn crappy.   What about if your work schedule was empty, meaning, you had written absolutely nothing down for the month, let alone planned out your weeks or days. What’s to eat? I don’t know, go chew on a stale veggie straw. This is the state of our household.

But again, I want more. I’ve been taking mental notes of Mom’s that I am lucky to know or live by (these are not blog friends, because I have no idea what their “real life” is) and what makes them successful stay at home moms (and by all means, this is not limited to sahms). And what do they all have in common? Well, let’s take a looksie shall we?  I would say each mom has at least 3 of these habits, but I have yet to meet one that has them all. Heaven bless her!

1. Wakes up before her kids, gets ready before the kids are up. Even if that means you’ve exercised and are in exercise clothes. You can rock those spandex to the bank and back for all I care. Anything other than pj’s is dressed!

2. Has a clutter free and clean home. Yes, that’s right, they have an orderly and simple home.  No piles of papers, no dusty knick knacks- things are clean here people. These moms either clean in the mornings or late at nights, because let’s face it, cleaning with Rodney and Phoebe around is like a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. Not really going to win at that one buddy.  But seriously, I know moms that really get it done! Is it perfect all the time? Absolutely not. But they get pretty darn close. I even know a Mom that had never lost a sock mate. Valerie Draper, there is a special spot in heaven waiting for you.

3. Has a schedule. These mom’s have a calendar, at it is up to date. They know where their kids need to be, when and who is picking up or dropping off.  These moms’s know when there is school, and when there isn’t school. They don’t think they’ve missed the bus, drive like a bat out of hell to school just to remember when they are running their kid in, “oh crap! Parent teacher conferences today!” 

4. Plans their meals, and actually makes them. Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s had that cabbage go moldy from never making those wraps.

5. Is loving, shows their love often. Each kid is so different, and each one needs different kinds of love. I would say a “calm” demeanor is my main goal to be productive in showing more love. Come about 5:30pm and I’m ready to snap. Fyi- not a good idea to call me during dinnertime, I'm trying to get a 3 year old to eat her zucchini. Yikes.

6. Teaches their kids, makes sure their homework is done, piano worked on, takes them to museums, cultural exhibits. Tries to nurture growth in athletics, cultural, arts, etc. etc. etc. But not in a Tiger mom sort of way mmkay?

7. Has strong family connections. I would say all of the moms that I consider my role models, have extremely loyal and strong family ties. Their vacations? Spent with family and cousins. Holidays? Family.  If not possible in person, most definitely in spirit.

8.Have a hobby, an outlet, something just for them. Some of the best advice I received was to make sure I do something creative every day. Bake something fun, paint a picture, read a book, create a new outfit, decorate a shelf, knit, quilt, write an essay, sing, play the piano, run 5 miles, try new makeup techniques, whatever floats your boat. 


This is just what I could come up for tonight while Ty’s at scouts and before I go to bed leaving dirty dishes and crumbs on the floor.  I’ve been taking it “easy” trying to get better. No exercise, no heavy cleaning (so sad! Ha!), just lying around listening to General Conference talks. Even too much talking has irritated my cough up again, poor ty! I have to talk less!

But, is there such a thing as a perfect mom? Probably not, but I know the Lord has blessed me to meet all of these wonderful mothers that take their job seriously. These are major league moms.  They research, practice and prepare for their job. Mother’s that put their kids needs first, their husband’s needs first (hehehe), their home’s needs first. They know who they are and why they are here, and then they get to work. They don’t say, “Oh, I don’t want to do that!” and put it off. They just do it because it’s their job. And then do it again. No rewards, no paychecks, just the satisfaction of knowing they are doing their best for their families.  I often catch myself whining and complaining that I’m not good enough, which most certainly will mean that I won’t be. I just read an entire book on sports psychology that affirms it.  Focus on negative, you will reap negative. Focus on positive? You got it. Positive.  So when I say "ah, my house will never be organized". It's the equivalent of the player who says he can't hit a curve, which means he never will. But a major leaguer, has to hit a curve, so they give all of their extra time and effort at learning how to hit that stinking curve ball. They don't give up, or settle for less.

 I don’t know what this all means for my goal as a better mother, and I'm sitll sorting it out.  But I most certainly am going to try a little harder to take this awesome job that I have more seriously. It's time to suck it up and not hit snooze…once I feel better of course.


 guess what? those shoes? not a single clue where there are. anyone? anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

9 comments:

stephanie said...

Loved this.

Keshia Phill said...

What's funny, Annie, is I try to do a lot of these things you listed. Because I once before made a list of things I wanted to be better doing as a mom. It certainly helped and goals were reached but I and you will always feel like we need to do more. When I start to feel down and that I have room to improve I have to remember that it is good to always want to be better but it shouldn't make us feel defeated like it did me. Before I moved to Logandale, I used to wake up before my children every morning to study my scriptures and exercise. It was invigorating. I felt so uplifted. I had some of the best spiritual experiences in the early hours of the day where all was quiet and my mind was fresh and purely devoted to the best teacher of all, our Master. Just reading truly turned into studying God's instructions. I noticed that if I would read in the mornings, everything else on my "be a better mom list" started to fall into place. I had the energy, the encouragement from on high, and the desire to do it. Since I've been pregnant and here at Collett's for the first trimester, the exhaustion got me out of the habit of being able to wake up earlier than the kids. But now I'm feeling better and I need to get back on track. It's the only single thing that I've noticed that truly effected the entire day for the better. It was incredible what I felt I could accomplish in love when I started my day off devoted to Him. Thanks for reminding me of my recent past experience that is the answer to what I need to do now to make my life more fulfilling!

Danna Banana said...

I have always found it difficult not to covet other women's abilities as homemakers. It is a nasty feeling when I see what I do falls so far from the mark that I believe others are able to achieve. A serious comfort to me has been to say that the only person that I need to be better than is the person I was the day before. Celebrating our strengths and working on our weaknesses is a skill just like mothering.

Laura Joyce Leavitt said...

I love this. I have had the hardest time lately feeling like i am failing as a mother and wife but i haven't done anything to change it. I only have one baby and i can barely pry myself out of bed when she wakes up in the morning. I think i will choose a few of the things you have listed and start there. Thanks for sharing Annie!

Jenna said...

I needed to read this post -- and I think other moms do too.

Melanie James said...

I love this! "Professional" Mom is now my highest aspiration. Thanks for sharing. I feel inspired.

Homeschool Mama said...

Really enjoyed this one!

Tracy @ The UnCoordinated Mommy said...

I completely agree with your list and especially the first one!! As soon as I can learn to function on 6 hours of sleep then I will be able to do that...

Jamie said...

You are so stinkin' articulate. I'm feeling inspired by this!

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