7.19.2013

disposable paper dresses

My sister was lamenting to me about her yearly "appointment" with her dr. when I told her I had one soon. We laughed and laughed at all the phrases you hear at those things. "Ok, scoot all the way down." "more, more, more".  I don't know about you but I am more than hesitant to get ALL the way to the end because I know exactly what comes next. But then I just give up, turn my head and make my doc laugh constantly with my crazy talk.

You think I'm joking. Seriously, get me nervous and I'm the funniest (possibly) person alive. Now you can imagine my first dates in college. Never a dull moment on those puppies I tell you what. One guy said, "You know, if you wrote the way you talked you would be a best seller". And he looked pretty smart and subscribed to the Wall Street Journal, the quintessential "I am smart paper". Meaning: he is totally right.

This year's appointment was strange. Not pregnant, or trying, or just had a baby, or struggling with weight problems or severe depression (hallelujah). Well, I have put on some poundage friends in the last month with all our traveling and my heat indulgences. ie: when it's hotter than 110* i eat whatever I want.

My doctor is lucky I love him, because he informed me of some changes that have occurred from 4 pregnancies and deliveries. Not that I've never felt immortal, or afraid of aging, but it was strange watching him talk about my body that way. No sound, just his lips moving. I even said, "well, should i be worried?"  Nope, nothing to worry about as long as I keep exercising and staying at a healthy weight. Like I needed more motivation, but you know, whatever works. I'm not 21 anymore, I knew this day would come but sheesh. It still sucked.

Chalk it up to all the other not fun moments I've spent wearing a paper gown. I think it just is making more material for my stand up comedy act...


or this blog. Potato, potahto.


Oh to be young and carefree again.


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