on honesty and motherhood

they published my post on What To Expect yesterday.

you can read it here

huzzah! that's a huge website! and i was happy an humbled they asked me. their editor was very easy to work with. but then after i saw it, and read it, i was still embarrassed to share it on here. it's things i never wrote, mainly because i didn't want my children reading it and being worried or afraid. i know right? silly. but i was very honest, and wrote a lot of personal things that went on inside my head during my post partum depression.

they say if you think you're crazy you probably aren't. i have to agree with that, because i really believed all of the thoughts in my head during my PPD, and didn't question them at all. they were very real and made complete sense. and now i'm pretty sure my mother-in-law is going to worry about her grandkids every day now. don't worry camille! i'm ok! we're ok! everyone's ok!

in all honesty, i'm lucky my depression goes away after i wean my babies. i'm lucky i had an attentive doctor and a prescription that worked wonderfully.

but in even more honesty, even today if i'm not eating healthy and working out, depression is my trusty companion 24/7.

i love my babies, i love being a mother. i would never, ever, in a million years change when and how many babies i had. they are all a gift that i treasure dearly. but that doesn't mean it has been easy.

i'd love to hear your experience with PPD (post partum depression). it's  a topic that is not discussed nearly enough. i hope that by sharing my personal experiences with it, other moms can either find help, or feel comfortable enough sharing their thoughts and feelings.

abby leigh, just several hours old
2007