real life

let's get real here people and talk about some stuff. blogs are not real life! i hope that i have not tried to persuade readers on this little thing in any other direction. i try to be honest about our life (to a point, i obviously edit out a lot of personal things) around here and my feelings as a mom. i really hope that readers understand i'm not trying to portray a different picture of myself. i'm quirky, and flawed, and funny (well, i try) and honest.

so, real life. i gained a lot of weight with pregnancy #5, the loss and the aftermath of all that. 20 lbs. i've lost like, 5. yes, FIVE. but for the last 12 weeks i have been busting my buns with an online personal trainer (more on her awesomeness later) and am feeling stronger and HAPPIER. yes, happier!!! sure, most of my clothes still don't fit and the scale refuses to budge, but I am happy! and i sprinted yesterday and my butt and tummy didn't jiggle or flop. that is real progress people.

anyways, i definitely only show nice pictures of myself on instagram and here because, hey! i'm human and i want everyone to think i'm a smoking hot mess. but in reality, there is one good angle of this woman and it is profile. everything else is, shall we say....crop worthy. haha.  so for the sake of my readers (all 22 of you) and myself here are a few good photos that i of course took myself, and bad angle pictures that ty's family always so graciously snaps of me all the time. ALL THE TIME. my posterity is just going to love all of those ones.  for your viewing pleasure and i hope you have a great weekend knowing how awesome your photos always are right? riggggghhht.

this is my "i am sucking in so hard it almost made me pass out photo"
and this is my, "i've been working out like crazy and this angle makes me look good" photo.

this is my "front squats are awesome. so there" photo.
*these next ones are the self esteem boosters:
i chose this apron specifically for it's ability to slim your waist, or er, rolls.
 "paul bunion meets grunge meets 80's bangs" photo
someone please, for the love, burn this shirt for me.
but not the shorts, they are the only pair that fit. yikes. 
"hi, i'm bloated and on vacation and born in the 80's" photo
this is my, "i was feeling so awesome i skipped the spanx for the wedding" photo
sheesh megan, you make me look bad woman

in all good sport, i know that i am way too hard on myself. i am an active and healthy mom who exercises more than regularly and eats pretty darn healthy. i don't drink soda or eat chips, i don't drink caffeine or alcohol or smoke. i don't eat out at fast food more than once a month and we limit dessert around here. but PIZZA? just give me an entire box and get out of my way. hahaha

there are good photos of anyone, and there are less flattering ones of anyone. all that matters is that i know i'm working hard and am strong and happy. i challenge you to find some unflattering photos of yourself and share them, it was actually quite liberating. 


embracing summer

ack, back to school shopping? september? don't even mention those things to me. we are having way too much fun with summer.

the awesome whattoexpect.com website just posted a list of 31 things to do in August, and i'm so excited for them. what's your list look like to embrace the end of summer?



i pulled back the covers to my bed last night and asked ty, "the kids are having a great summer aren't they?". he chuckled a "yup" out before his eyes started sliding shut. i sighed as i pulled the sheets up over me and started to ponder. ty was snoring in 12.3 seconds and i thought about getting up to watch tv or read, but i just thought and thought.

the kids are having a great summer. i've tried to let it be as carefree and full of physical activity as i can, with lots of good tv in the mix. last week was "musical week". i told them i don't care how much you watch but it has to be a musical. hahaha, it was hilarious. lucky we weren't even home that long for them to be very bored at all.

i have enjoyed this summer, as all summers. something about having all my chicks home at the same time is endearing and absolutely exhausting all at once. but,

i have lost my routine with the house.
i have lost my routine with the weekly menu.
i haven't sat down to look at the bills or calendar in weeks.

this monday i went through my head in the shower about birthdays and appointments and 'to-dos'. i hadn't done that in a very long time. as the dates clicked by with each thing i realized that my due date for baby number 5 is next weekend. seeing as i've never made it past day of 39 weeks to the dot, theoretically i would be having a baby this weekend. it was such a strange thought, and then two seconds later i started sobbing. i don't sob, i don't cry over emotional hardships, so this was strange. i didn't fight it and as it subsided i realized that things have been a little strange past 9 months.

i'm not unhappy, but i'm not happy if that makes any sense at all. 
i'm just a little lost i guess, and that's ok. 
it does please me that the kids and ty are happy, so there is something. 
thank goodness for that.

*ps* if you are looking for a good "get completely lost in a book and ignore everything book" i just read My Name is Resolute. perfect summer escape book.


scout camp means one thing

road trip!

ty has volunteered in our church to work with the Boy Scouts of America for a long time. approximately 10 out of our 11 years of marriage.

one time i complained that he was always gone on campouts. my dear friend is a widow told me how her son looked forward every month to those campouts .

and i have never (ok tried not to) complain since.

but scouts means scout CAMP. and if it wasn't during the hottest month of the year, i don't think i would blink an eye. it doesn't bother me too much when ty is gone, i just keep on doing what we do you know? but our favorite tradition now is going somewhere with just mom and the kidlets during camp week.

this year we ran away by ourselves (No aunt sarah) to california. We picked up aunt Danna and visited the ocean with my old college bestie Christie.

we swam, we marveled at the waves and dolphins. we walked and collected sea glass. i felt like the sand and the waves pulled away a lot of my daily stress and worry about life. corny, i know.

most importantly we talked, and talked and talked about what's happened over the last 13 years since freshman year at BYU.

my favorite part, apart from the friendship, were the gloomy and overcast skies. oh! i loved them.

it was magical and just what we needed to survive the summer.

finding sand crabs
"wooking for dolpins"

phoebe doesn't need captions
sunset from a hallmark card right?


the stroller

ty took out the umbrella stroller out of the back of the car last weekend, and left it on the porch. every time i walked into the house i would remind myself "make sure you put the stroller back in the trunk!".  because, you know, you can't be caught without a stroller when you have a baby.

i mentioned this to ty yesterday and he kind of chuckled, "he doesn't really need a stroller like that anymore".  that caught me off guard, and i got a little defensive, until ty reminded me, "he did climb that mountain by himself annie."

it's true, my baby did hike with us last saturday all by himself.

goodbye umbrella stroller, it was nice seeing you all the time.  sniff, sniff.

ty might have bribed them all with candy bars if they made it to the top. hehe


strange things are happening....

my first hired writing was published this morning.

yup, i'm an official blogger for whattoexpect.com

watch out for my book at barnes and noble next year. hardy har har!

but seriously, please take a gander at my post here. it validates my puny existence.

and if you like it, feel free to share it on, you know, any social media website you please.

i never knew this little old thing would one day end me up getting paid to write. i mean, i once lost a child i was holding. just don't tell my editor in new york city that. (yes, my editor in NEW YORK CITY)

ok, enough bragging. rock on my readers, rock on.


thoughts in the summer

oh, the heat. it's not the first time i've lamented about it, but this summer feels especially toasty. i'm not complaining too much, we are extremely spoiled to be able to swim at my parents' pool. i don't know if it is because i grew up with a pool, or because heat makes me insufferably cranky and tired, but i couldn't live here without a pool. honestly, it's salvation in a blessed rectangle.

this summer has been the summer of purposefully choosing to try harder every day. try harder at growing spiritually, mentally and physically. that's no small task in case you were wondering.  it's really easy for me to physically work on myself, i enjoy exercising and learning new ways to eat better. spiritually, i've always been a stubborn mule on that one. i'll do good and then be obstinate about consistency. blah. mentally is the same, i will read a cluster of good books and then have a dry spell of nothingness but watching mindless drivel not the tv with ty.

all the kids are working on their library reading project and learning how to dive/swim better. we have a few friends over once a week (i can't really handle anymore than that) and take trips to get frozen yogurt and groceries. we also have spent a TON of time zoning out on tv and the iPad. i spend all.day.long with the kids EVERY day.

nap time/quiet time is my small 2hr block of time to unwind and plan the rest of the day, but i can't tell you how much i have to pray every day to be able to stay calm with the kids after 6pm. and most of the time it doest help (ack).

working on my own weaknesses and strengths is a challenge in and of itself. as long as i keep trying more than giving up, i believe i'm still heading in the right direction. at least i hope! a lot of the times in my effort to be better, i will take notes of other women or mothers that i know that i perceive as doing a "good job", and i try to imitate or recreate their routine or actions.  even just typing this i see the mistakes in that method, but it is what it is. many good routines and things have come into our family because of my attention to positive aspects of other family's lives.  but another thing can happen, and that is forcing things that aren't meant for me or my family because they look "good". it's a fine line between trying to be better by following your own desires instead of Heavenly Father's.

one thing i want for my children is a strong mind, body and character. i want them to know who they are and their purpose here on earth. they are all so unique with their qualities and weaknesses. i don't think i'm alone in the feeling that it is such a challenge being a mother.

via pinterest


on patriotism

my earliest, and favorite memories of Independence Day were jumping off of rocks the size of two story houses, fishing for crawdads and getting burnt to a crisp at Lake Tahoe. the cool evenings spent on the top level of a parking garage, lying on top of the suburban, on top of a lumpy electrical blanket (i thought everyone brought their old electrical blankets for picnics) and oohing and ahhing at each burst of light. the radio static would eventually leak through a few strains of a patriotic song and we would devour bags of candy before heading home in utter bliss.

the kids have never disappointed on the 4th of July, except the one year we woke Lucy up for the fireworks and she asked to go back to bed. and the three years in a row we refused to take Rodney because he hates loud noises. but it is always full of family and fun and someone getting burnt by a firework.

this week on pinterest was post after post of patriotic nails and tees and etc. etc. etc. well, i'm lame. i don't have patriotic nails, or shirt, or matching dresses for my girls. but we will swim and eat bbq and get sunburnt and watch the fireworks display. i hope my kids have magical memories of all of these small things that we have the FREEDOM to choose to do or not to do.

God bless America
Home of the Free

i snapped a few of these photos with Ty's phone on our way home from Las Vegas this week. the heat was suffocating, 115*? 116*? and our little car was struggling to keep the air cooler than 90*, but i still saw some desert beauty with my eyes. maybe i will survive this summer

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