1.12.2015

honesty

i ran into one of my "blog" friends this weekend (hi emily!) and she mentioned reading this thing. she is awesome and updates hers almost daily/weekly, and i was embarrassed that this thing gets neglected so much. it's funny because before this weekend and for the past few months i have been trying to figure out why i don't write on this "blog" as much as i used to. here are the few reasons (ahem, excuses) that i found:

1. i write for whattoexpect.com , that honestly takes up a lot of my writing energy and mojo. also, i have to EDIT those posts, and good gracious editing is worse than sitting through 2 hours with 4 kids of stake conference at church.
2. smart phone, yup, my life has slowly (or rapidly) spiraled into a cone of spending time on my phone instead of documenting our family life and cleaning our house. both important things that easily get pushed out of the way in lieu of trivia crack.
3. honesty. here's the real rub down, i'm (at a fault) an honest person. i will tell you everything that's going on in my life and my children's lives. and honestly, raising children is HARD. and the older they get the challenges are trickier and trickier. marriage is difficult, and the ups are fun and the downs are the worst. i don't have the right, nor do i have a desire to share my children's struggles or my marriage's, and i guess because i can't be completely honest on this thing, i don't write anything. there are so many good, wonderful and funny things that happen on a daily basis at our house, and i do need to write them down. i always have prided myself on not being a "highlight' reel writing over here and sharing everything, so maybe just finding a balance is in order.

it feels like most of the things we are going through are just too much to write down, and so, i don't. like the fact that seeing pregnant women and large families about kills me almost every time lately. and how i've tried to teach zumba again and it isn't working out, and i can't do it and what is wrong with me that i can't just teach ONE class once a week? we don't have many options in our small town for group fitness, (unless 55+) so the guilt of letting everyone down rears it's ugly head.  and i can't, for the life of me, get my eating back on track. the holidays just about slaughtered my clean eating motivation.

but teaching Relief Society every month is an awesome thing right now, i love learning and i love trying to be a better person. auggie the dog isn't humping every single person anymore, just the ones he really likes. i rearranged the kids' rooms and it is AMAZING and bonus! it only took me a year to get it done. no joke. i've been better at dinner planning and that is keeping the kids and ty happy and spring is around the corner, so good things are happening! there is your honesty for today.

and here is a random highlight reel of 2013, before the ectopic pregnancy, lice and everything else that 2014 royally stunk up.

3 comments:

Emily said...

Oh Annie, it was super fun to see you and to chat with you, even if it was just for a minute. You have such a grand way with words...and I have loved your blog ever since the first time I looked and read. :) You are doing such wonderful work with your darling family. I really think you are an amazing gal!

Happy 2015...I hope all your New Year dreams come true!!

Cathy said...

Your honesty is why I read and like you! And your number three is so me too. I want to be a good little blogger again. Some day. For now I jot things down in my kids' journals. That'll do for now. Thanks for being you.

Carly Yates said...

I don't know if you remember me, I am Kami Errkila's friend Carly. We went to Goblin Valley together two years ago. I started following your blog then and have enjoyed it so much. You are so real!! and quite hilarious too. Come to find out I am pretty sure I might even be related to you guys. My grandmother grew up in Bunkerville and I know I have some Leavitt in my family history. Anyhow I hope you know that you are appreciated and I love your family. I have three kids now and it is more than a full time job. Keep up the good work.

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