3.09.2015

motherhood done right

A few weeks ago I popped onto Facebook after about a week hiatus. The first thing I saw was an article about sleep training your children. I groggily clicked onto the article and read a blog post by a woman (who is not a mother) that used some studies to say that because i sleep trained my children i had ruined their lives. it should be noted that the horrendous examples they gave in the article were nothing like what we used for our sleep training but it still sent me into a complete tailspin. {it should also be noted that my period started approximately 3 hours after reading the article hahahaha}

anyways, ty came home from work while the 5 year old and almost 4 year old were in hour 3 of their naps. i told him, "well, i read something that said I ruined the kids." he just laughed and laughed, "Yup, it's over" he chuckled and walked away. i was able to look back and laugh at the situation, i had slipped into being 25 all over again. i was POSITIVE that because someone said something or some "study" reported a statistic i was either a good mom/bad mom. ugh, i do not miss those days.

once i surfed down from the crimson tide i realized that i absolutely LOATHE articles that bash motherhood choices. you know what i'm talking about, either it's one that tells you you are doing it right and everyone else is wrong or vice versa, they are all just garbage. because guess what?

you are a great mom. yes, you dear reader. whether you are a friend, family member, stranger or one of my own daughters reading this, you are an amazing mother. you that had a natural home birth with enya, you that has scheduled c-sections, that breastfed/formula, binkie/no binkie/thumb sucking, blanky/no blanky, co-sleeping/sleep training, homeschooling, boarding school, special needs kids, soccer mom, working mom, introvert mom, loud mom, crafty mom, fitness mom, artist mom, teacher mom, cooking mom, non-cooking mom, all natural, organic garden mom or chef-boyardee ravioli mom: You are the BEST mom to your kids.

that's it. there is no magic formula. God sent you your  kids because they needed you and you needed them. only you know what is best for them and how to figure that out. no one else. nada. zilch. zero other people.

don't let an article or book make you feel like you are failing. don't let other families successes mean anything about you, because they don't. don't let your failures mean anything either. failing means you are trying, it's much more scary to never try and never fail. don't let some remarks from other moms or family members get you down.

i can't tell you how hard it was to sleep train my children, it was excruciatingly difficult with each one (except abigail, who is an amazing sleeping unicorn sent straight from heaven). it was not easy, but i knew it was important. there were many times when people and family questioned my methods and pointed out that i was crazy. there were also many times when friends and family wanted their kids to sleep like mine, but couldn't do it the way we did and got defensive. but here's the thing, i knew it was the way that my kids needed and what i needed and that is all that matters. i'm very happy that i listened to my gut and followed through, because it did turn out to be exactly what our family needed. that doesn't mean that's what other families need either or that they should do what we did.

in my 20's i would run all over the place trying to convince everyone that my way is the best way (said like the Queen of Hearts) and you should be doing it too! but now? oh, i couldn't give a flying fart as to how you train your kids, or don't train them. i don't care! have a cotton candy disco party on the trampoline at midnight and eat pot brownies in the morning if that's what you think is right. More power to ya!

i'm happy i don't fall into the comparison trap as much anymore, but it goes to show that i still can fall prey to it pretty easily (note to self, don't get on social media the week of your period). i imagine it will get better and better as the years go by. my mom said that just about when that goes away, is when your body starts to fall apart. OH JOY!!!!!

here is a short clip of the daily dinner time struggles we have here with hot rod (turn your volume down):


1 comment:

Cathy said...

I will be forever thankful that I had zero exposure to Facebook and Instagram when I had my first baby in 2006. I didn't even know what a blog was then.

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