fatty mcbutterpants

the close of 2009 found me at the largest i have ever been in my life. yeah, yeah, i know what you're thinking, bedrest, baby, blah blah blah.  i am not whining here, i am just stating the facts. and the facts added up to this: nothing fit, i was depressed, and my sausage calves couldn't fit into my brand new hunter boots.

i don't think it matters how/why anyone gets out of shape and unhealthy. yes, unhealthy. whether you were blessed with genes from the gods and walked around eating anything and everything and staying rail thin until you graduated from hs/had kids/hit a cetain age/retired or whatever, or you have always struggled, let's face it:  being unhealthy stinks. it's depressing. it's annoying. it is so very not fun. and most importantly, it's not healthy.

and if you are nodding your head and saying amen, i hear you. i've been there or worse, i'm there. you are not alone. if staying in shape and eating healthy were easy, everyone would do it. you should know that weight was not something i struggled with until college. i was a very active child, (read:hyper) and danced, played soccer & was a total spaz every spare hour not in school. freshman year of college found me stretching the seams  a bit and even then denile was not just a river in egypt.  seriously, i thought all clothing companies had changed the measurements of their medium shirts and size 8 pants and therefore it was THEIR fault that i had to step into the big L size and double digit slacks.

luckily, over the years, i have learned a lot, am still learning and researching and trying to take care of my body in a healthy and normal way. it's hard to strike a balance, i didn't want to neglect it but i also don't want to get an eating disorder or turn into an exercise bulimic. and seeing as how i LOVE food and i love to COOK food and BAKE food and use lots of BUTTAH, i can't just flip a switch and turn into a non-food-loving person. it's not going to happen. believe me, as a former dancer, i've tried.

so, for 2010, combining the knowledge about nutrition i believe to be true, add a heaping pile of moderation, and spiritual perspective, these are my eating and exercising goals:

• eat real food. sadly, over the past 50 years commericial food companies have turned food products into, well, products and not food. things are packaged to look good, stay long on the shelf, and taste good while completely disregarding nutrition and health. thus we are all walking around, pudgy, poofy, tired and hungry from lack of protein, good fats, and fiber. i don't follow diets well, but this rule of thumb i learned from my personal trainer: do you know where your food came from? and i'm not talking about grocery stores or drive thrus. i'm talking vegetables, fruit, meat, nuts, legumes, grains. get the picture?  i know exactly where the squash came from. i know exactly where the chicken came from. i know exactly where the oats came from.  but i'm also pretty sure i've never seen a ding-dong tree or pop-tart plant either. this works anywhere you are, just ask: do i know where this food came from? and try and get a balance of everything. we made the switch to only brown rice,  whole grain pasta, and whole grain bread a year ago and the girls and ty are none the wiser. sadly, many of my favorite recipes from growing up are on the "every once in awhile" schedule, and not the weekly.we like to sing the sesame street song, "cookies are a soooometimeees foood!"
• limit sugar seeing as diabetes comes from, oh, 4 sides of my family along with heart disease, obesity and lovely cancer, sugar is just not good for me.  sundays are my off days, i usually look up a fun and delectable recipe for sunday dinner. like last night's banana cream pie. mmmm. now if your mormon, somehow EVERY church function is brimming over with sugar, so i try to know when those days and activities are coming. don't get me wrong, i eat something sweet every day, but limit it to one (ok 2), and i make it count. if sugar is in the first 3 ingredients of something, i count it as a dessert.   i have been weaning the girls off of cereal for awhile now, and when we do have some, it's rice/corn chex with honey on top. now, i can't ever say NO SUGAR, because when in 2 weeks i will be driving through krispy kremes with 24 variety donuts in the passenger seat and one in my mouth.  sugar is in almost everything because it's ADDICTIVE. think legal crack.
• get moving no matter what. i have to make time to move. some days are too crazy to go 'work out' per se, but somedays i clean the house on 'superspeed' mode, or a nice long walk with the girls in the stroller, 65 lbs combined and 16 on my chest is not too shabby either. somedays i do nothing. it doesn't matter what you do, but it is nice to find something you love to do. not everyone is a runner. not everyone is weight lifter. not everyone is a swimmer. not everyone is an early morning person. not everyone is a dancer. not everyone likes the gym. not everyone likes being outside (i still try to understand that).  start experimenting and find what you really like. and find something you can do daily/weekly.  i will tell you right now, i did not like running in school. sure, put a ball or hurdle in front of me and i'd book it. but running for running's sake? as if!   luckily, after our wedding a charlotte nursed me along 1/4 mile at a time and i grew to LOVE it. but i still HATE walking by myself.  give me someone to chat with and i can walk from here to yonkers. START SLOW, i'm back there. i feel like i've never run a mile in my life, but slow and steady wins the race. luckily, i know that 3 mile and under runs suck from a deep place i like to call hades. but until i can break past 3 miles i have to endure. because i know that there is nothing more sweet than a 5 mile run. 

this is for me to look at and remember for motivation. i have struggled with this and know that it is a constant work of progress (and sometimes setbacks). but i hope, oh i desperately hope, that some people will find help and solace from my sharing this. over the years i have tried this and that diet, read this and that book, tried this and that exercise regime with no avail. i am an athlete, and a dancer, and yet was clueless about why i was taking care of my body other than to "be fast" or "stay skinny". but once i became more aware of my body from a spiritual perspective, it has made all the difference. i no longer do things for my body to fit a certain size or weigh a certain number, i do it because it's right and it is important.

  What? know ye not that your ^abody is the ^btemple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your ^cown?

  For ye are ^abought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.                 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

it doesn't matter if you used to take care of your body, or never have, or never have known how to all by yourself, start today. at least start thinking about it. what am i eating? when am i moving? what are some bad habits i could try and change today? and make small attainable goals and find things that you love. and if you screw up and eat the entire bakery section, or don't move a muscle for months on end:  DON"T GIVE UP.  i once heard that it is easier to change your religious views than to change your eating habits. true that.

"This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." 

Winston Churchill

*did you hear that sound? that was me stepping off of my soapbox.