a tupperware virgin

after 4 years of higher education at a private university that starts with a B and ends with a U, i learned  a very important fact.
"you don't know what you don't know."
and yes, i know dad, you're reading this thinking, "i always told you that!" and i listened, but it took all those years of classes to let it sink in: "holy crap! i never knew how much i didn't know!" and i never will. seriously, wrap your head around that for a second. you DON'T know what you DON'T KNOW. take a minute for your head to stop spinning so you can read on.

so college has been over for 6 years. i have kids. i have a house i attempt to run like a CEO, CFO, concierge, cleaning lady, chauffeur, secretary, and whatever other people that sound important. and i KNOW that i'm not a born organizer. cleaning and keeping things straight does not come naturally to me. throwing a party for 100 people or making up silly songs with impromptu lyrical dance moves? sign me up!  but storing things in containers and organizing the lids? can you say rocket science?

so my friend/relative/neighbor jessica (is that what we call each other jess?) invited me to a tupperware party.  mainly i just went because 1. i've never been invited to a tupperware party before. lia sophia. check. modbe? check.  scentsy candles? double check. but tupperware? hooboy! 2. i wanted to meet some new friends. yes, even in a small town i'd like to get to meet new people. so i threw on a little makeup, did NOT do my hair, (that's what sunglasses are for-my summer headband) and ran out the door. i yelled to ty on my way out, i am SO june cleaver!

i arrive at the party-where i talked incessantly and embarrassed jessica for ever inviting me to something with people other than family. but i learned that i have NEVER OWNED A PIECE OF TUPPERWARE. did i know this before? NO! i thought what i had was "tupperware". holy biscuits was i wrong. i leaned over to jessica and lauren and said, "I think i'm a tupperware virgin!" lauren said, "I know! me too!"  who knew? it's really just shocking. i've owned rubbermaids, and cool whip containers, and my mom's hand me downs with lids that don't lock and these awesome snapwares that my sister in law meg bought me for last christmas, or two christmas' ago? i can't remember. but they have been my best ones yet. but get this? they break if you drop them from high heights. i know right? what the crap is up with that?

so this real legit TUPPERWARE stuff? lifetime guarantee. yes, you heard me right. LIFETIME GUARANTEE. i almost peed my pants in excitement. sure, it's pricier than anything else, but lifetime guarantee people!  can you say SO EXCITED? holy cow, i think i'm turning into dooce with my overuse of caps. i realized that i never knew what TUPPERWARE is and what it does. keep you food fresh? check. break if dropped from high heights? homey don't play that. it was like tupperware was meant for clutzy women like me trying to turn into organized housewifes.

sososososo- i'm excited to purchase some real tupperware and try those suckers out. i mean, i've finally arrived in housewifery. real tupperware. what's next? a hose holder that looks like an urn? yes please!

*this was not intended for sarcasm. i seriously want to get my hands on this stuff.  and how.


Whitney Baldwin said...

I laughed and laughed when I read this.
You get some of that tupperware and let me know if it truly is life-changing. If it will make me look like a better housewife, I just may be on board myself.

Lauren said...

Loved that you posted about our virginity. I can't wait til my over priced can opener gets here!!

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