dear santa, this christmas i would like a lobotomy

my mom always waited a lot longer to decorate for christmas then any of my friends. i thought she was just, like, so weird. when lucy was a toddler i never listened when she said, "you should wait to decorate till just a week before". what? crazy talk i tell you.

and so, every year we bust out the full on decor the day after thanksgiving. tree! stockings! decor! music! and it's absolutely fantastic.

and then...oh and then. 4 weeks later the kids are absolutely bonkers. i have so many things to get done that i get paralyzed (remember diy paralysis? i also suffer from holiday paralysis). wrapping, cards, baking, dinner, cleaning, laundry, playing, organizing, sweeping, wiping, diapers, diapers, diapers and more diapers to change.

ah. exhaustion! i just can't take it any more!!!!! and to top it off, my kids are getting more and more disobedient the closer it gets to christmas. they just can't handle the pressure. i finally put out a few, and i mean a few, kids christmas presents yesterday as i thought, "they won't be tempted to open them in just 2 days". wrongo. a child who will not be named just snapped. and walking out the door to grandma's i notice an opened package ever so gently placed back on the pile.

" who opened the present? i asked. no, i demanded.


and then, it was phoebe.
and then it was the cat (the CAT!),
and then it was an accident ,
and then it was nobody again.

"well unless i hear the truth no one is getting that present" i stated. the best part is, it is "prancer's" present. so not knowing to whom it belongs everyone is having seizures at this point.  ( i use reindeer code for their names to discourage gift opening. yeah, that worked awesome)

fast forward 3 hours later. there has been crying. and pleading. and "i did its!" and "i didn't do its!" and a sister who is cajoled into confession. and then, i snapped. i had had enough. i didn't care that the present was opened but the fibbing and fibbing and fibbing! ENOUGH! i said. and i threw the present up on top of the roof.

that was my only option. i was exhausted of the answer of what to do. there was no solution to my tired, frazzled brain and i just wanted it to stop. i threw a present onto our roof. that sounds so crazy now that i write it down.

i called ty and said, "i just threw a present on top of the roof." 

"well, as long as it works."   he replied. (i love that guy)

and guess what, i don't think any kid in our household will open a present before christmas again. but i'm also not going to put presents out under the tree until christmas eve, at like, 9:30pm.

the avarice. the greed. i hate how it so easily smothers out peace, good will and joy at this time of year.

mom, you were right. waiting to do it all is the most brilliant idea in the world.
why do us moms with little kids make ourselves suffer so?


Lisa said...

LOVE!!! Love you! Love the post! Love that I'm not the only one who has lost it!!! LOVE!!!

Danna Banana said...

Boo Yeah. Never give up....never surrender.

Bowler Family said...

Don't worry Annie. While Christmas is nothing but stress and chaos for you, your children won't remember as that. They will remember the tree and the stockings and baking cookies and that one year mom freaked and threw so and so's present on the roof cuz we opened it. ANd then they'll laugh and you'll send out a new threat to those who ever try it again.
The holidays are supposed to be crazy!!

Anonymous said...

LOL!! You just made my week. I just put presents under the tree today. I found its way unwrapped and of course Bella was the only one to blame. I am going to have to take note of the roof & code name ideas. Merry Christmas my friend. I miss ya.

my name is becky kelly said...

i am laughing out loud about you throwing a present on the roof! Shanan wants to know if it's still up there so he can sneak over there and get it. is it something good? I called santa today and told him that i'll call back in a half an hour if the kids were still not cleaning. it kindof worked....

Melanie said...

Hahahahahaha! Oh Annie, that is awesome. I love the roof idea. And Ty's response is classic!

(We had about 6 presents under the tree, and that was just too much. I had to take a certain child's present away and make them earn it back. Glad this week is over.)

By the way, thanks for the Christmas card!! :)

Jordan and Jandee said...

I don't ever put presents out until Christmas Eve....well at least under the tree. Sometimes I stand them on top of my bookshelves as a sort of decoration/present display, but next year my boys may be brave enough to scale the bookshelves so I think they'll stay safely in my closet until Christmas Eve.

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