On giving thanks:

my friend wendy posted this quote on Instagram, and it's been rolling around in my head for over a week. 

"not what we say about our blessings,

but how we use them,

is the true measure of our Thanksgiving."

w.t. purkiser

i feel every day that i am more and more thankful for everything, especially the little things. and i'm trying to show it in my actions. how am i using and taking care of the things i am so grateful for?

last night i held a heavy, footed pajama clad baby in my arms at bedtime. he held tight to his bottle with his chubby little fingers, and his chest breathed in and out. his heavy breathing kept on and on while his little right hand rubbed his silky blanky and he looked lovingly into my eyes. his days of baby are passing, and i relished every singly breath. he finished and lay his sweet smelling, freshly bathed head on my shoulder and snuggled in. oh, how i've loved my babies. every single one of them. and oh, how i wish i could keep them little forever.

i had to rotate out phoebe's 2t clothes to 3t last week, and it was the saddest thing in the world. what if i never have another little girl? what if i never have another baby? the thought is new to me, but feels strangely real. and so i took my favorite baby dress they all have worn, and hung it lovingly in the play room. i love to pass by it day by day, and remember that i was blessed with 3 beautiful girls who are growing up. 

now i have a little boy that all of a sudden his 24mo pajamas are tight. and his pants are getting higher and higher. and i just can't stand it. where did it all go?