a little change

I have an awesome hairdresser. She is young and vibrant and gorgeous and talented. Oh! I wish I had the energy she has. She is also brave. I am pretty brave, but not when it comes to my hair color. My only rule is NO GRAYS! I've been battling grays since freshman year of college. The girls noticed mine for the first time this week ( I was overdue for a color). "Why do you have grey hair?" Abby asked. "You're not even old!".  Sweet, blessed Abby.

Growing up I was hair challenged, and clothing challenged, and just girl challenged all around. Mix together the fact that I couldn't brush or braid my own hair (or anyone else's for that matter), liked boy clothes better than girls and was the last of my friends to physically "mature" you've got a good recipe for frumpy girl syndrome.

I did not consider myself cute or pretty. I did think I was beautiful, but because my parents told me so. Beautiful never meant pretty or cute to me. It meant something that I just was and always would be. Note to self: Keep telling the girls they are beautiful.

As a woman ( I feel funny just writing I'm a woman!), I still have the same thoughts as I did as a child. I'm just a normal, regular person. I'm not cute or pretty and definitely not the girl on the homecoming float. I'm the soccer player with stinky socks and the ballerina that could do a triple pirouette en pointe. Those were the things I identified with, and I guess still do.

Beauty? What is that? I mean, I definitely try on Sundays and date nights to look my best. But I always feel like the old woman from Princess Bride will run out and yell "BOO! BOO!" and everyone will see me for the impostor that I am. I can't be the only woman who feels this way. If I wear heavier eye makeup than regular or spruce up my accessories I feel extremely out of place.  Anyone else like this? Or is it just me?

Back to hair. I decided to give my hairdresser full reign. "Do what you think would look best" I told her. And just sat back.

You guys, I have trendy long hair. I have hair that is in style.  This has never happened to me in my life.

It feels fun, and young and totally ridiculous all at once. Who am I to have trendy hair?

 I mean, really?

*post edit* both of my curling irons died yesterday. Blast you karma. 


Whitney Baldwin said...

Your hair is fabulous. And you are fabulous. And I know you weren't fishing for compliments but I have always thought you were super pretty. So there.

But I feel you, I always feel like the biggest imposter whenever I put on more than just mascara and chapstick.

PS. I am planning a trip to see my mom next week, and I want to stop by your place to see you too. Cool?

Unknown said...

I have always wondered if you realized what everyone else does...that you are both pretty and cute!! Now you know!

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