Birthday girl

Something about your oldest's birthdays really gets me. Maybe because it's the first one each time. First one year old. First 9 year old. First teenager etc. Or because maybe because you see time fleeting faster than you can grab it. Whatever it is, it's different than any other birthday.

Last week as I lay awake I marveled at how much has happened in these last nine years of our family. 

All the wonderful, and hard and those few black empty spaces where I blocked life out. They are all there filling up what is our life.

And I'm grateful for it all and for this beautiful, smart girl that started it all.