a few weeks ago on a weekend morning, the kids erupted in a chorus of jubilant cries. "Mom! Come look! Ew! Whoah!"

this usually means one thing, they (usually dad) found a living creature and they (usually dad)will put it in a jar and it they (usually dad) will bring it into our house. and then it will DIE.

i cannot tell a lie.

this time it was the weirdest caterpillar i have ever seen. they put it in a mason jar, cut some holes, added the required twigs and leaves and put it on the counter. a few days later it crawled to the top of the lid and hung down. it almost looked like it was going to make a cocoon. what are the odds? and sure enough, we came home one day and the caterpillar was gone. in its place a dark, hard ugly cocoon.

we hatched butterflies last Christmas, so the kids all knew what was going to happen. but if you don't understand the metamorphosis of a caterpillar, you would think it had died. or disappeared and left some weird casing.

sure enough, as nature goes, a week later we woke up in the morning and VOILA! a butterfly. but, if you've hatched butterflies, you'll know that their wings are stuck together for about a day. You can't really tell what it's going to look like, you have to wait. and the next day, when enough blood had pumped to its wings, we had a beautiful mourning cloak butterfly. we let it go Easter morning and it flew away as fast as possible (good choice butterfly).

i kept thinking about that butterfly all week. and about metamorphosis, and cocoons (or phoebe prefers, CHRYSALIS)

as much as i'd prefer to be a beautiful butterfly and float around all day, i am not. but in a metamorphosis stage? i am. i think all of us are at multiple points in our life.

change isn't easy, and it isn't pretty. much like the hard, ugly cocoon.

i think of the major changes we go through in our lives, and the unpleasantness of them. don't believe me? think middle school or puberty, or heaven forbid, both at the same time


right now i feel as though i'm not where i was, but i'm not yet where i want to be. kind of stuck in a cocoon phase. it's hard, and ugly and seems like nothing is happening at all.

of course i know things are happening, but it's nice to know that even the most beautiful butterfly has to spend time in a dark and enclosed chrysalis. somehow, and sometimes that fact alone helps get me through the day.


Unknown said...

I have felt like this a lot and know where you are coming from. I've found, when I feel restless in the soul (that's how it feels for me anyway), that I have to pray more often asking what God wants for me. I also spend a lot more time writing down what I'm grateful for to keep me in the present. Thinking about the future would always take away from the beauty of the moment and of NOW. Don't miss the beauty of the little moments that lead to those bigger moments...they are what make up your life.

Chandra said...

Is it possible to go through all three stages in one day? I'm pretty sure it is. Whether it's one day, one week, one month or whatever, it is nice to know that we are not "stuck" and that change WILL come.

Whitney Baldwin said...

I love this. One of my favorite posts you've written.

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