I'll be on my way

" I could never do that". I can't tell you how many times I have heard that when I would tell people about my trips. Or when I would take the kids to California for a week by myself while Ty was at scout camp. Or anything else I"ve done because I wanted to. Like starting a business. Or writing. It's something that has never made sense to me, that people don't think they can do something that they want, that other people do every day. Somehow I was born with an insatiable need to travel and see things, that was also coupled with a sense of self confidence and bravery rivaled with Kimmy Schmidt. "Why not me?". You want to travel? It's easy, buy a plane ticket. Get on a plane and go somewhere. Want to start a business? Read a book about starting a business, watch youtube tutorials on it. Get the website, get the email address, get on your state website and buy a business license. It really isn't as hard as you think. If I can do it, you can too.

I'm grateful for my stupid sense of bravery because it has opened up so much to my life. I've never given up, on anything that I have desired to be or do or have. I may put things away for a season, but they are still there. And if I have a desire to go and do them, I'm going to.

This morning as I woke up one of my favorite songs from the You've Got Mail soundtrack was this:

I'm so tired of getting nowhere
Seeing my prayers going unanswered
I say goodbye to all my sorrows
And by tomorrow I'll be on my way
Well here I am, Lord
Knocking on your back door
Ain't it wonderful to be
Where I've always wanted to be
For the first time I'll be free in New York City
I say goodbye to all my sorrows
And by tomorrow I'll be on my way
I guess the Lord must in New York City -Sinead O'Connnor

Growing up I knew I would dance and had the strongest desire to live in New York City and dance for the American ballet Theatre. I also wanted even more strongly to be a mother. One morning in New York this month, as I walked back from dance class through Central Park, I found a large rock in the shade and laid down to meditate and I was overwhelmed. 

I am a mother.
and I am dancing in New York.
I was living both of my dreams...where I've always wanted to be.

I had "fun" the several times I've been before in New York, and loved it, and then had a huge letdown coming home to my desert home. This time? I absolutely just ate it up. I couldn't get enough of New York...or my home and family once I was home.  I guess the Lord must be in New York City, and Moapa Valley, or wherever you are, you just have to listen and look around.

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